


Like a Church on Fire

by LadyHammerlock



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Biting, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Sex, From Sex to Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Soft Millsoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:49:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29020740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHammerlock/pseuds/LadyHammerlock
Summary: Two years after the crew of the Unreliable split up and went their separate ways, Max and Felix find themselves unexpectedly reunited on Monarch. After a brief, tumultuous, and ultimately ill-fated affair on the ship, will this unexpected reunion be the second chance they have both been waiting for?
Relationships: Maximillian DeSoto/Felix Millstone, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Parvati Holcomb/Junlei Tennyson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> The world needs more soft Millsoto. What started as an attempt to fill that gap turned into a multi-chapter fic that I've been working on here and there for about a year. I finally finished the first draft during Nano last year, so here it finally is! It's pretty much finished, so I plan to post the rest of the chapters over the next few days.

Maximillian De Soto watched as the last of the raptidons let out a howl of pain and then dropped to the ground, defeated. There had been three of the beasts. Luckily none of them had been overly large and he had been able to take them out by himself without too much difficulty.

He turned around to check on the three scientists currently under his care. None of them were hurt, or at least none more so than they had been before these raptidons had attacked. Renshaw had been nursing a worryingly large gash on her leg since Cascadia, and the other two had a few cuts and bruises, but nothing that wouldn’t heal up with time and care, providing they were able to make it back to safety before anything worse happened.

Max stowed his shotgun and surveyed their surroundings. If he remembered the wilds of Monarch as well as he hoped he did then Amber Heights should be waiting for them just over a ridge in the distance.

“It’s not too much further now,” Max said, reaching down to help Doctor Renshaw to her feet. He could hear another pack of raptidons not too far behind them. They might be getting closer to Amber Heights, but the second group of raptidons would still catch up with them if they lingered too long.

“You’re sure the people there will welcome us?”

This question came from Professor Bates, Renshaw’s colleague and one of a once much larger team of scientists, originally from the Hope, who had made the unfortunate mistake of landing their craft in Cascadia. Luckily Max had been in a position to answer their distress call, and was in the process of escorting the survivors to Stellar Bay where they would be able to meet up with another team.

The wilds of Monarch hadn’t grown any less dangerous in the two years since he had served on board the Unreliable however, and he knew that he and the three scientists in his care would need supplies and medical treatment if they were going to make it the rest of the way; supplies and medical treatment that the people of Amber Heights would hopefully be able to provide.

“Commander Zora Blackwood is an old…” Vicar Max hesitated for a moment. They had certainly helped one another out more than a couple of times, but he didn’t think their relationship had been warm enough for him to be able to refer to Zora as a friend.

“Ally,” he settled for. “And a good person besides. There is no doubt in my mind that she will do whatever she can to help us out and ensure that the three of you reach your intended destination.”

He might have been overselling her hospitality a little, but he was sure that she would at least be able to provide shelter for a night or two and medical attention for the scientists’ wounds.

“Come on,” he prompted. “We should be able to see the settlement when we make it to the top of that ridge.”

* * *

So far Maximillian De Soto wasn’t sure whether or not he had made the right decision in leaving Edgewater and trailing after this mysterious Captain. The Groundbreaker was exactly as he remembered it from the last few times that he had stopped by; a refuge for the system’s detritus; non-affiliated traders, criminals and street thugs all rubbing shoulders and trying their hardest to scrap some sort of living together outside of the Board’s protection.

There was no structure here; no guidance, and no sign of the religion that Maximillian was currently trying his hardest to devote his life to.

They had found the information that they needed though; both in regards to the Captain’s ongoing quest to do… whatever it was that Vicar Max’s new Captain was trying to do, and in regards to tracking down Reginald Chaney, which Vicar Max was a lot more concerned with, and so it was time for them to leave the Groundbreaker behind, at least for now, and continue on their journey.

They had made it back to the Groundbreaker, only to find a young man waiting for them by the ship’s airlock.

Max remembered the younger man from when they had first disembarked on the Groundbreaker, although why his captain had felt it necessary to address the miscreant then was just as much of a mystery to Max as why the Captain was now actually entertaining the idea of allowing such an obvious criminal to join their crew.

He was scruffy and unwashed, clearly some sort of miscreant, and the captain’s conversation with this Felix Millstone had revealed him to be lacking in both moral integrity and intelligence. He simply could not allow this young man to join them on board the Unreliable without at least making his objections known in some manner.

“So we’re picking up strays now?”

* * *

Felix paused as he heard the sound of gunfire. It wasn’t an unusual sound on Monarch, and neither were the howls and roars that accompanied it, but hearing it so close to Amber Heights meant that they needed to be ready for trouble.

“You heard that, right?” Felix asked the woman who had been working beside him for the past couple of hours. She had told him her name earlier, and they had been chatting amiably while they worked on building the new fortifications just outside the city, but Felix had already forgotten her name. He was pretty sure that her name started with an ‘R’. Rosanna? Rosario? Something like that.

“Raptidons,” Rose; Felix was just going to mentally call her Rose until he remembered her full name and claim it as a nickname if she asked. “Sounds like someone’s fighting them.”

“Should we go check?” Felix asked.

“I mean, you can if you want,” Rose said. “The wall’s still going to be here waiting for you when you come back. Just be careful, all right? And you should probably tell Commander Zora if you come across anything serious.”

“Yeah sure,” Felix said, before jumping over the currently waist-high wall they had been in the process of building before heading out.

He had an assault rifle on his back and a pistol on his belt. They might have only been doing construction work but no-one left the walls of Amber Heights without at least one weapon on their person. There might not be as many marauders these days but the wildlife on Monarch still made life dangerous.

In fact, Felix hadn’t travelled far from the construction site when he heard the roar of a raptidon, and the sound of gunfire and someone shouting. The shouting sounded surprisingly familiar to Felix, and he found his heart speeding up in response.

“It can’t be,” Felix said, before running towards the shooting.

* * *

“Come on!” Vicar Max called out as he herded the scientists towards the relative safety of Amber Heights.

They were so close now, but the herd of raptidons that had been trailing them had caught up when they were in sight of Amber Heights, and the sounds of the creature’s roaring had attracted a couple of nearby mantisaurs to add to their trouble as well. Max would do his best to hold them off and protect the scientists, but he wasn’t sure that he was going to be able to do it all by himself.

“We’re almost there,” Vicar Max said, placing himself between the creatures and the scientists. “Run!”

He made sure that the scientists were running in the direction of Amber Heights before opening fire on the creatures with his shotgun. He had just begun to fight them when a round of assault rifle fire joined his own gunfire, making one of the larger raptidons fall down at Vicar Max’s feet.

“Max!” a voice called out, and if it wasn’t for the fact that there were still several more creatures to take care of, then Max would have turned around to find the source of that voice, because its familiarity was just as welcome as it was unexpected.

Max found himself drawing on reserves of energy that he didn’t even know he had. Just knowing that he might be fighting by the side of his old ally, and that it wasn’t just the scientists that he was protecting now, but a beloved friend as well (or at least, Vicar Max was hoping that it was a beloved friend. He couldn’t be entirely sure that it wasn’t just his tired mind playing tricks on him.)

Eventually the creatures had all fallen, and Vicar Max turned around and crested the hill behind him. Surely all of the scientists had gotten to safety by now. After all, he and the newcomer had managed to take down all of the raptidons and mantisaurs that had been attacking them.

The sun was shining at their saviour’s back, casting him in shadow, but Max would know have known him anywhere.

* * *

“So we’re picking up strays now?”

The insult had come from a man standing just behind Felix’s new Captain. Felix looked the guy over and immediately decided that he hated him. He was wearing a dark blue robe that immediately gave away his profession as a vicar, also known as a board-loving, brown-nosed, propaganda-spewing know-it-all.

That was just fantastic. Felix had been excited about his new life on board the Unreliable, but if this asshole was going to be one of his crewmates then things clearly weren’t going to be as perfect as he had hoped.

“Great,” he said, making no attempt to hide his sarcasm. “A real life vicar. I’m sure we’re going to get along like a church on fire.”

* * *

Max’s eyes met Felix’s own over the top of the ridge, and Felix felt himself immediately freezing in place. His heart felt like it had stopped beating; like the planet had stopped rotating entirely, leaving him standing there staring at the older man.

His throat felt dry, and it took him a moment to even remember how to speak.

“Max,” Felix finally breathed out.

“Felix,” Max replied.

It was just one word, but it made Felix realise exactly how much he had missed the sound of Max’s voice.

* * *

“Holy shit Max,” Felix said as the two of them lead the scientists towards the gates of Amber Heights. “When I heard those gun shots I definitely wasn’t expecting to find you out there. I haven’t seen you since, what…? The wedding?”

Max nodded.

“Since Missus and Missus Holcomb-Tennyson’s wedding, yes.”

Max couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the wedding. It had been good to catch up with everyone, and there had been plenty of cheer and food and drinking, and everyone had been dressed up in their finest clothing.

“Kinda hard to forget a night like that, huh?”

“Completely impossible to forget the travesty of a suit you wore to it at any rate,” Max teased.

Felix’s brows dipped into a frown, and for a moment Max feared that he had actually upset Felix, and that the two of them were going to drop back into the constant bickering that they had both engaged in for the first couple of weeks of their acquaintance, before the two of them had gotten to know one another better.

But then the corner of Felix’s mouth twitched up into a half-grin, and he leaned over, shoving Max playfully.

“Come on,” Felix whined. “It wasn’t that bad.”

It had, indeed, been that bad; no doubt borrowed from a friend and/or purchased from a Spacer’s Choice discount rack, but Felix had looked frustratingly attractive in it regardless, at least as far as Max was concerned, and he had spent a probably inappropriately large amount of time trying to scout the venue for secluded corners where he and Felix might be able to slip away and ‘catch up’ in private.

He had spotted one, but before he could even attempt to pull Felix away from the rather raucous reception, they had both been pulled into an impromptu reunion of the ship’s crew. Parvati had left arm in arm with her new wife after a couple of hours, but between their old Captain insisting that they all needed to celebrate as hard as possible and Nyoka sneaking in a bottle or two of something that _definitely_ wasn’t available at the free bar the rest of the night had passed in a delightful blur.

Max had vague memories of Felix’s mouth on his own at one point, of a desperate, drunken tongue exploring his mouth, but whatever else might have gone on between them that night was a far cry from what Max had been hoping for, and also from what little they had managed to share while they had both been crewmembers of the Unreliable.

Max smiled fondly at the memories, and, upon realizing that he had been completely neglecting his charges in favour of catching up with his old crewmate, glanced back behind him to make sure that the three scientists were still following close behind.

They all seemed safe, although Bates took a moment to raise one questioning eyebrow in Max’s direction, before lowering her eyes.

The gates of Amber Heights were right in front of them now though. They were safe, and it wouldn’t be long before they were inside the settlement’s walls; walls which were a lot more fortified and quite a bit more impressive than the last time Max had set eyes on them.

Felix called out to someone on a newly constructed lookout post by the gates and they were let inside. Max knew that his charges would be safe, at least for the time being. Between Commander Zora and her followers, and even Felix himself, Max knew that they would have nothing to worry about until they decided to set off for Stellar Bar the following morning, assuming that the scientists didn’t want to rest up for a couple of days first.

“It looks like you and the Iconoclasts have been busy,” Vicar Max commented as he looked around.

“Oh yeah,” Felix commented. “Now that everyone is getting along this whole planet’s doing better. I don’t fully understand the science of it, but they’re even talking about installing some sort of filter to get rid of all the sulphur in the air around Amber Heights. Apparently there’s not much that they can do about it around the Bay, but it’s gonna make living here a lot nicer at least.”

Max contemplated asking Felix about the recent Tossball matches. It had, after all, been one of the first things that the two of them had bonded over, but Max hadn’t been keeping up with it as much as he used to, although now he regretted it. Perhaps if there was a match on while he and the scientists were staying in Amber Heights then he and Felix would be able to watch it together.

“Is Commander Zora still in charge here?” Max asked, trying his hardest to keep the conversation as professional and neutral as possible, fearing that if he didn’t he would find himself wanting things that he couldn’t have; things and feelings that should probably be left in the past. Talking about the wedding had probably already made things more difficult than they should have been.

“Yeah,” Felix answered. “Commander Zora here and Sanjar in Stellar Bay. It’s still working really well. Did you… um… Are you planning on staying a while?”

Of course Felix wouldn’t beat around the bush as much when it came to a matter like that. Max wished that he could say ‘yes’, but the scientific team that he was escorting needed to get to Stellar Bay, and Max wouldn’t feel right until he had seen them all the way to their intended destination.

“We’re heading to Stellar Bay as soon as possible,” Max said, watching as Felix nodded, pursing his lips and trying to hold back any disappointment that he might be feeling in response to Max’s answer. “I suspect we’ll stay the night.”

In Max’s experience Felix had never been able to hide his feelings about anything particularly well. He was grateful to see that this hadn’t changed; Felix’s face now lighting up despite his quite visible efforts to keep Max from noticing quite how pleased he was.

Max wondered what he would do if Felix actually asked Max to spend the night in his own quarters. Max suspected that he would be as weak as he had always been when it came to the younger man. He wasn’t sure that he would have the strength to resist, not when his heart was already glowing just from being reunited with Felix.

* * *

Felix had thought about asking Max to stay in his quarters, but those scientists had been with him, and Felix couldn’t be sure that Max would want that sort of thing. He told himself that it was good just to see Max again. They could catch up, like the old friends that they were. They didn’t need to spend the night in each other’s arms for Felix to be happy that he had been able to see Max again, however brief their meeting would end up being.

Felix lay back on his bunk and tried to forget the fact that Max was lying just a few rooms away. How long had it been since he had last seen the guy? Nearly two years? Somehow it simultaneously felt like forever and like no time at all had passed. Damn it. Had he really kept himself so busy that two years had passed with him barely realising?

He had brought Max to see Commander Zora, where Max had explained what had brought him and the scientists to Amber Heights. Of course Zora remembered Max and everything that he had done to help out Monarch while he had been a crew member of the Unreliable, so of course she had been happy to put up Max and the scientists for a night. She’d also offered them an armed escort when they departed for Stellar Bay the next morning, and Felix had every intention of signing up as part of that armed escort, whether Max and Zora approved or not.

He had been able to spend at least a couple of hours relaxing and catching up with Max in the bar, but Max had been tired and had retired to the room that Zora had put aside for him long before Felix had been ready to say goodnight.

Just spending those couple of hours with Max had reminded Felix of everything that had made him eventually fall for the other man. At first they had been at each other’s throats; teasing and insulting each other every chance they got, but then things had slowly started to change. Felix wasn’t sure that he could point to one single event that had changed things between them. It was more of a slow, subtle change; days of fighting at each other’s sides and evenings arguing over the tossball broadcasts.

It was nice to see Max again. A little too nice. Felix knew that he had missed the rest of the Unreliable’s crew, Vicar Max probably most of all, but he hadn’t realised exactly how much until he had seen the other man standing there, and it had taken all of his willpower to stop himself from throwing himself at Max and kissing him until they were both breathless. Hell, if Max hadn’t had those scientists with him then perhaps he would have done exactly that.

No. He wouldn’t have. As much as he had a reputation for being reckless, he had no idea where he and Max even stood with one another these days. He was probably just as likely to get a shotgun pointed at his face if he tried to kiss Max as having the kiss returned.

Or maybe not.

He found himself thinking of those final days with Max on board the Unreliable, when Max had been calm and soft and gentle, and he’d kept sending Felix those soft little smiles.

Well, that certainly wasn’t helping him to get his feelings under control, or his heart rate for that matter.

He flung one arm over his eyes and tried to think about anything at all that wasn’t Max’s smile, and failed miserably. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t found himself thinking about Max over the last couple of years, but it was one thing to pine for an old lover (and were they even really that considering they’d only slept together twice?) who was probably thousands of miles away, and another thing entirely to jack off while thinking about them when they were sleeping only a couple of doors down.

Felix had forgotten about the way the creases in the corner of Max’s mouth moved when he spoke or smiled though, and the way that his eyes lit up when Felix said something that he approved of.

Felix found his hand drifting down to the front of his trousers, where his dick was already hardening at the thought of Max. He grasped at it through the thick fabric, knowing that it was already too late to turn back now.

His cast his mind back to their time together on the Unreliable; to the night before they had stormed Tartarus.

Max’s hands had travelled all over Felix’s body, and his lips had pressed kisses to Felix’s skin wherever he could reach. It had been so amazing and so overwhelming, like nothing that Felix had ever felt before.

He undid his fly, his hand sneaking into his trousers and freeing what was now a fully erect cock.

He imagined Max’s hands on him; imagined the older man whispering softly into his ear, telling Felix how beautiful and perfect he was. Oh god, Felix had never wanted it to end.

Felix let out a cry which he barely managed to stifle by shoving his fist into his mouth and biting down.

It was too much.

He could feel himself shaking and knew that he had to stop. That particular memory was one that he always found himself lingering on whenever he grew lonely or found himself missing Max and the crew of the Unreliable a little too much.

It always left him feeling worn out though. He didn’t know whether that was because the experience itself had been just so much to take in, or whether it just reminded him of exactly how fucking lonely he felt these days, but he found that he couldn’t bring himself to think of it that night; not when Max was so close, and not when he would have to face him in the morning and pretend that he hadn’t spent countless nights over the past two years fantasizing about him.

No. It was time for something safer; something that didn’t make Felix want to crawl into Max’s bed, curl up in his arms and never leave them again.

Instead he cast his mind back to the first time that the two of them had slept together.

* * *

Felix’s day up until that point had been absolutely terrible. An unlucky burst of raptidon spit had burned through the fabric of his sleeve and left a nasty, painful scar on the skin beneath; one that no cream in Auntie Cleo’s entire catalogue had been able to soothe completely. He’d been sent back to the Unreliable in a huff, and had flopped on a chair in front of the aetherwave, hoping that a little tossball would be able to distract him from what had already been a shitty day.

He had just been getting comfortable when Vicar Max had entered the room. Felix waited for the older man to sit down on the sofa beside him, but instead he walked to the back of the chair and leaned on it, as though he was curious enough about the tossball match to stop and listen to it for a moment, but couldn’t bring himself to sit down on the sofa and enjoy it properly; not if it meant sitting beside Felix.

Of course Max had positioned himself so that his elbow was resting only inches away from Felix’s face.

“Do you mind?” Felix snapped, folding his arms in front of his chest.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Max said, the sarcasm absolutely dripping from his voice. “I wasn’t aware that every single inch of the sofa was spoken for.”

Max was trying to get a rise out of him. Felix felt that he always was at the moment, poking and teasing Felix every chance he got. Felix wasn’t in a mood to entertain the older man’s teasing however. Not then, when he was already so fucking tired.

“Just sit down,” Felix said, moving one of the old, worn cushions off the couch and gesturing for Max to take the place where it had been sitting a moment earlier.

As far as peace offerings went, it wasn’t a particularly impressive one, but Max seemed to recognise it for what it was, and raised an eyebrow at Felix before sitting down on the sofa next to him.

Felix clutched the cushion to his chest and tried to focus on the tossball broadcast, and not on the fact that Vicar Max was now staring at him.

“Mister Millstone,” Max began, and Felix immediately hated him for it.

“It’s Felix,” he snapped.

“Felix,” Vicar Max tried again, surprising Felix by actually paying attention to his request. “Is your injury bothering you? You know, I could take a look at if you…”

“It’s fine,” Felix snapped. “I just want to forget that I ever got raptidon spit on me in the first place and enjoy some tossball, all right?”

“All right,” Max agreed, and thankfully fell silent.

Felix tried not to look over at him too much and tried to pay attention to the tossball broadcast instead, but it wasn’t easy, especially when Max was _right there_ , his legs spread wide and his knee resting only inches away from Felix’s own. It became especially difficult when Max threw one arm over the back of the sofa. It wasn’t a particularly _big_ sofa, which meant that his hand ended up resting somewhere behind Felix’s shoulder, not much of an improvement over Max’s earlier position, although at least he wasn’t leaning over Felix now.

Felix had always had a thing for older men. It wasn’t something that he was particularly proud of, or something that he liked to advertise. It wasn’t as though he didn’t also like girls, but sometimes his admiration for an older man ended up turning into something that was a lot closer to a crush.

Usually his crushes were nothing like Vicar Max though. They were rebels and outlaws, like Graham Bryant or Clyde Harlow, (or at least, the sort of people that Felix had thought Graham and Clyde had been) wild, free spirits beholden to no-one, and certainly not lackeys of the board. Vicar Max was too clean, his hair too perfectly trimmed to Board aesthetic standards, his hands the soft hands of a man that spent all of his time reading and had never had to haul boxes to make a living. Not to mention that he had the absolute worst taste in tossball teams.

Not that Felix would have _ever_ admitted to having a crush on Vicar Max. Nope. Absolutely not. The guy was an absolute asshole, and if there was one thing that Felix couldn’t stand, it was assholes, especially ones as self-righteous and full of their own bullshit as Max was.

“I assume that Rizzo’s Rangers are losing,” Max commented, which just made Felix even more pissed off than he already was.

“Only by a little,” Felix said through gritted teeth. “And it’s only because Macintyre sprained her ankle in the first half. Plus I’m pretty sure the ref was bought off by the Spacer’s Chosen team.”

“Really Felix,” Max said, seemingly determined to get on Felix’s nerves as much as possible that evening. “Loyalty is one thing but you have to admit when your team is playing poorly.”

“Yeah, well what would you know!?” Felix said, finally snapping. “You only just started listening.”

He shuffled further up the sofa, attempting to get as far away from Max as he possibly could. Seeing as the sofa hadn’t increased in size at all over the past few minutes, he didn’t make it very far.

“True,” Max commented, not seeming to be at all put out by Felix’s anger. “But I do know that the Spacer’s Chosen have an exceptionally good line-up this year. Really Felix, it’s remarkable that the Rangers have managed to keep up at all.”

That was it. Felix was sick of Max; sick of him bad-mouthing Felix’s favourite tossball team, sick of him acting so smart and dignified and refined when he was nothing more than a corporate bootlicker. Who the hell did he think he was?

Felix leaned back over to Max’s side of the couch and grabbed him by the front of his stupid vestments.

“Stop insulting my Ranger’s Max or I swear I’ll punch you all the way back to Edgewater,” Felix said.

Max actually seemed a little shocked by Felix, which was hugely satisfying. Maybe he was even a little scared?

But then Max sighed and grabbed Felix’s wrists, gently pulling his hands away from Max’s vestment.

“I apologize,” Max said, although he really didn’t sound sorry about anything to Felix. If anything he sounded like he was trying to bite back just as much anger as Felix in that moment. “It was not my intention to insult your team or to get you riled up.”

“Yeah?” Felix said, leaning forward even more. “Well, screw your intentions.”

Felix glared at Max and the older man glared back. Max still held Felix’s wrists in his hands, and it was only as they continued to glare at one another that Felix realised exactly how close they were.

His eyes darted down to Max’s mouth, only inches away from Felix’s own. He caught himself staring, but too late to be able to save his dignity. Max had already spotted him staring, and the look on his face had changed from anger to… to well, something else that Felix wasn’t sure he knew how to identify.

Felix realised that his pulse and his breathing had sped up, and tried to tell himself that it was only because he was so angry. He was so angry at Max for treating him like he was an idiot, and doing everything that he could to make him feel worthless, and for still holding on to his wrists, and for always looking so handsome without having to put any effort into it at all.

Felix surged forward, pressing his lips against Max’s own in a kiss that was less a show of affection and more of an attack. To his surprise Max let out a low, dangerous sound that was more of a growl than anything else, before kissing back with just as much violence as Felix.

Felix climbed into Max’s lap and bit down on Max’s bottom lip. Max responded with another deep, delicious groan, his hands tightening their hold on Felix’s wrists to the stage that his wrists were starting to hurt.

Felix pushed against Max, trying to get him to open his mouth; trying to dominate him, but Max gave as good as he got and before long they were lost in a battle of tongues and teeth; less kissing and more devouring one another’s mouths. Max finally let go of Felix’s wrists, one of his hands moving up to clutch at Felix’s jaw in a fruitless attempt to pull him even closer than he already was, the other hand grabbing Felix’s hip and pulling him down into Max’s lap, where Felix could feel a rapidly hardening erection straining against the fabric of Max’s vestments.

He realised with dismay that he was just as hard as Max, and ground down into the older man’s lap. That brought another moan from deep within Max’s throat; one which Felix could feel through their joined mouths and which he swallowed down greedily.

The next thing he knew Max was grabbing him by his hips and pushing them both to their feet. Felix was reminded of Vicar Max’s hidden strength. He always had been stronger than he looked; stronger than a mere Vicar had any right to be, although Felix had learned over the past few weeks that he wasn’t _just_ a Vicar. He wasn’t _just_ anything. He wrapped his legs around Max’s hips, letting the older man take his weight as they moved away from the sofa.

Their mouths stayed locked together, breaking only long enough for one of them to bite down on each other’s lips as Max pushed Felix over to the nearest bare patch of wall where they could continue to kiss each other senseless.

Max pulled back from the kiss, which had Felix letting out a rather embarrassing whine in protest, at least until Max’s mouth moved to his neck, where it resumed the same kissing and biting that they had been trading back and forth. Felix found himself gasping and struggling to breathe.

He remembered a few years back, when he had been living in the Back Bays on Groundbreaker and doing whatever he could to scrape by. One of the others had managed to scrounge some cast-offs from the clinic, and had managed to make a rather heady cocktail of drugs that she’d offered to other street kids in return for various favours. Felix had managed to get his hands on a single fix. Taking it had felt a lot like he felt now; like he was drowning; being pulled under by a force greater than himself, and like he just knew that he was going to regret all of this as soon as the drugs left his system and he was back to his normal self.

Max had him pinned to the wall. Their lower torsos were grinding against one another, and Felix realised with some embarrassment that if things continued the way that they were, that he would probably end up finishing right there, making a mess in his pants like he was an overexcited teenager.

He couldn’t let that happen. Whatever happened between himself and Vicar Max, he needed to make sure that he held on to at least some semblance of dignity. He tried to focus on the sound of the tossball aetherwave broadcast, still playing despite the fact that the two of them had stopped listening, but quickly found his attention being brought back to the delicious groans and growls that Max was making as he continued to bite and lick at Felix’s neck.

“Max,” Felix groaned, ashamed to hear how needy and breathless he sounded.

That seemed to be enough to grab Max’s attention, at least for a moment. He pulled his head back from Felix’s neck and glared at him for a moment.

“I’m not doing this against a wall,” he said, as though their current position was somehow Felix’s fault.

Felix glared back and was about to say something so scathing that Max would never recover, as soon as he thought of what that was, when Max stepped back, taking all of Felix’s weight again.

Felix held on for dear life, making sure his arms and legs were wrapped as tightly around Max’s torso as they could be. The sheer strength that the older man was displaying was enough to ensure that Felix’s erection did not flag at all as he was carried into Max’s quarters and then dumped rather unceremoniously on the older man’s bunk.

For a moment Felix was too stunned to do much more than just lay back and stare up at the older man as Max towered over him.

The vicar was staring down at him, his eyes blown wide with what Felix realised with some surprise was open lust, as his hands with their long, delicate fingers slowly undid his vestments. Felix watched in rapt fascination as the long overcoat was removed, Max surprising Felix by letting it fall to the floor. He had honestly been expecting Max to fold it with care and then place it somewhere out of the way, but instead it was left to crumple on the floor in a pile of deep blue fabric.

Apparently Max didn’t wear anything beneath those vestments, at least not on his upper torso, and Felix’s mouth went dry as he was treated to his first sight of the body beneath those vestments. He had been able to feel Max’s strength before, but now he could see it as well; the defined muscles of Max’s arms and the broad expanse of his chest; all of it far more desirable than an old asshole vicar like Max had any right to be.

* * *

In Amber Heights, Felix’s hand sped up and his erection hardened as he remembered the sight of Max’s bare skin. He wanted desperately to see it again, and to see that look of open want and desire in Max’s eyes, but for now his memories would have to do.

* * *

“Are you just going to stand there all day and stare at me?” Felix asked from where he was still laying sprawled out on Vicar Max’s bunk.

Max continued to stare at him for a moment, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip in a way that Felix found incredibly distracting.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” Vicar Max announced, before leaning down and getting to work on undoing Felix’s belt.

“So are you,” Felix tried to protest as he reached for the vicar’s own trousers, but Max batted his hands away, before removing Felix’s belt and starting on his jumpsuit.

He leaned down as his hands moved, his mouth capturing Felix’s own in another lip-bruising kiss. The next few minutes were a blur of grasping hands and biting teeth, as together they tried to get all of Felix’s clothing off while trying to maintain lip-lock, or at least some violent semblance of it, as much as they possibly could.

When the last of Felix’s clothes were finally removed and he felt just the slightest hint of the cold night air against his bare and still very erect cock he found himself gasping and pressing up against Max, desperate for more contact, only now Max seemed more concerned with removing his own pants.

“Patience,” Max chastised him, nipping gently at the corner of his mouth before pressing a deep, passionate kiss to his lips, the force of the older man on top of him pressing Felix down against the pillow and the bunk beneath.

Felix wanted to argue, but it was impossible while Max’s mouth was still devouring his own, so instead he contented himself with running his hands over Max’s bare chest and back, amazed at how many small scars he could discover on the older man’s body. He already knew that Max had a rougher past than he had originally let on, but it was one thing to hear about the vicar’s time in prison, and another to feel the taut muscle and smooth scar tissue beneath his fingers.

Eventually, after what felt like far too long and at the same time like no time at all, Max had finished removing his pants, and Felix was treated to the feeling of Max’s bare body pressing against his own; his chest and legs and oh law, even his erection, pressing against Felix’s own bare skin and making Felix gasp, breaking their kiss for only a moment before Max was surging down and devouring his mouth once more.

Max’s hands reached down to caress the sides of Felix’s body, and Felix groaned into the kiss. It had always seemed to him that Max had lived a life of luxury and privilege. He certainly acted like he had. All of this had led to Felix imagining that Max’s hands would be soft.

They weren’t. Felix could feel exactly how rough they were as the vicar’s hands moved up and down Felix’s bare side and then down to grip at his arse, and Felix absolutely loved it.

It wasn’t long before Max was flipping him over so that Felix’s back was to Max’s chest. The older man had started to bite a trail down Felix’s back that had led to his rear, where Max had sunk his teeth into the tender flesh of Felix’s left arse cheek.

Felix had been able to feel that for days after, had reached down and pressed his fingers against the tender spot when he jerked off, shamefully recalling the events of that night.

Felix vaguely remembered something cold and wet pressing against his entrance. He suspected that Vicar Max had used some sort of oil, although he was too caught up in the moment to pay attention to what it was, and besides, Max had spent only the minimum amount of time preparing Felix for what was to come.

Felix really couldn’t blame him for that. After all, Felix was pretty sure that he hadn’t been able to say anything that wasn’t Max’s name or some sort of vague encouragement for him to hurry up and do something to Felix. He had been half out of his mind, drunk on lust, and so when he had felt Max lining himself up, something broad and hard that was far too big to be the other man’s fingers pressing against his hole, Felix had almost wept with relief.

Max had pushed inside hard and fast. It had hurt, at least at the beginning, but it was exactly what Felix had needed.

Max had cursed against the skin of Felix’s back as his arms wrapped around Felix’s torso and held him close. He set up a brutal pace as well, thrusting in and out of Felix’s body so quickly that Felix didn’t have time to recover or to get his breath back before he was being impaled again.

The only mercy that Max showed him was to avoid the acid wound on his arm from where the raptidon had managed to injure him earlier in the day. Apart from that their coupling was brutal and desperate and absolutely perfect.

“You like this, don’t you?” Max had whispered in Felix’s ear as he leaned forward, his voice deep and broken, before thrusting in and out of Felix a couple more times.

Felix had been unable to do anything but not in agreement. When he opened his mouth to try and speak Max had thrust into him again and all that had emerged from his mouth was a long, desperate cry that sounded vaguely like Max’s name.

Felix’s cock was leaking beneath him. He felt like he was getting closer and closer to finishing with every one of Max’s thrusts. If only he could reach back and touch himself, but Max was keeping him pressed down into the bunk, and he was too busy just holding on and trying not to lose himself to even think about reaching back and jerking himself off.

“Come on,” Max said, before biting at Felix’s ear. “Show me how much you like this.”

Felix almost wept in relief as one of Max’s hands wrapped around Felix’s cock and began tugging at it, the feeling of his long, rough fingers absolutely perfect as they brought Felix to the edge and then over it.

Felix came with a cry, his seed spilling over Max’s fingers and onto the bunk below.

He was vaguely aware of Max muttering a garbled mixture of praise and curses as he followed close after, pulling Felix as close as possible and keeping him there as Max finished inside of him.

* * *

In his room inside Amber Heights Felix pressed a fist to his own mouth in an attempt to muffle his own cry as he came.

In his mind he could hear Max’s muttering in his ear, telling him that he was a good boy, that it had all been perfect, and as he came down from the high of his orgasm he realised that he was crying.

* * *

The rest of the evening had been little more than a disaster. There had been a few, blissful minutes during which the two of them just lay there, the weight of Max on top of Felix’s back restricting in a way that felt absolutely blissful in the moment.

Soon enough though they both came back to themselves, and Felix realised with a start exactly what had just happened. He had struggled out from under Max’s weight and away from the bunk, embarrassingly conscious in that moment of exactly how naked he was.

He had found his clothes in various spots on Max’s floor, and had struggled to get dressed as quickly as possible while his heart raced unevenly in his chest.

There was no way that he had actually given in and been stupid enough to have sex with Max, and there was absolutely no way that sex with Vicar Max had been _that_ good. It had all been a stupid mistake, and one that Felix had absolutely no intention of repeating.

Meanwhile on the bunk Vicar Max just lay there, frowning at Felix. Felix heard the older man let out a very tired and very audible sigh as Felix continued to get dressed, before getting to his feet himself.

“I suppose we’re not going to talk about what just happened?” Max asked as he moved to pick up his own clothing.

Felix couldn’t even bring himself to reply to that. He had retreated from Max’s room without saying another word.

* * *

Felix took a moment to clean himself up and then flopped back on his bunk, suddenly feeling completely wiped out.

After they had first slept together things had grown a little awkward between the two of them. Felix had avoided Max as much as possible, so it took him a couple of days to realise that Max was avoiding him as well.

Felix had tried to deny his attraction to the older man as much as possible after that, but it was becoming increasingly difficult when he knew how attractive Max was beneath his vestments; how that dark blue fabric hid lean muscles and faded scars and memories of the best, most satisfying sex that Felix had ever had.

They had barely spoken to one another, until a couple of weeks later, when Felix had gotten far too drunk for his own good, and, his bravery fortified by a whole bottle of Spectrum Vodka, had crawled into Max’s bunk while Max was still in it. Before he could make any sort of attempt at a confession, he had vomited all over Max’s carpet.

As far as attempted confessions went, it was only one of the worst, most embarrassing moments of Felix’s life, and it only grew worse when Max tried to console him the next day and the rest of the crew caught wind of what had happened. Their Captain had given Felix and Max weird looks for days after, as though they were trying to work out exactly what had happened between the two of them.

And then there had been the hermit on Scylla, and the drug trip, and Max’s revelation, and everything had changed. Max had become kinder and gentler with everyone, but with Felix most of all, offering to teach him science and take him under his wing, and not even arguing with him about tossball anymore. It had been so confusing, and Felix hadn’t known what to make of it all, at least until that final night when they had…

Damn it all.

Felix had a nice room all to himself, and he had been keeping himself busy and happy enough working with Zora and Sanjar and their weird Iconoclast-MSI-hybrid-alliance-thing. He had moved on from his time on the Unreliable and had found a life of his own, and he’d finally managed to get Vicar Maximillian DeSoto out of his head.

Well, perhaps that last part was a lie, but Felix was sure that he would have been able to move on and forget all about Max if only he’d been given a little more time.

But of course that was when Max had to show up in his life again; looking all strong and handsome and acting just as kind and thoughtful as he had by the end of their time on the Unreliable, and Felix didn’t have it in him to pretend that seeing Max again didn’t feel like the best thing that had happened to him all year.

He wanted Max to stay, or at least, he wanted to stay by Max’s side, one way or another.

Small steps. That’s what he told himself. Tomorrow he would offer to accompany Max and the scientists to Stellar Bay and hope that he wasn’t completely unwelcome.


	2. Chapter Two

Max had secretly been hoping that Felix would offer to accompany him and the scientists to Stellar Bay, but he hadn’t wanted to presume, and he certainly hadn’t wanted to ask Felix and potentially pull him away from whatever responsibilities he had in Amber Heights. No doubt he was an important member of the community.

The night before Max had retired early, claiming tiredness, which wasn’t a complete lie. However, he had mostly retired because the couple of drinks that he’d had were enough to make him feel just relaxed and open enough that he could no longer trust himself not to say something inappropriate to Felix. Just seeing the younger man had been enough to bring back a flood of emotions that had threatened to overwhelm Max in those couple of hours that they had spent together.

He had to keep telling himself that Felix was not his to cherish. They had made their decision to go their separate ways along with the rest of the Unreliable crew, although Max couldn’t remember the two of them ever discussing it. If Felix ever did indicate that he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with Max then Max would give himself to Felix in a heartbeat, but until that moment came he needed to keep his distance and not get too caught up in what was nothing more than a couple of nights of sex and more than a couple of months of pining on his part.

Still, when he and the scientists gathered together the next morning and met the small group of men and women who would be escorting them to Stellar Bay, he couldn’t help but smile when he saw Felix standing among them.

He caught the younger man’s eyes for a moment and his heart felt like it was glowing when Felix returned his smile.

Max was glad that the two of them wouldn’t have to say goodbye again just yet.

* * *

The wilds of Monarch certainly hadn’t grown any less dangerous in the last two years, but the road between Amber Heights and Stellar Bay had been made a little safer, automatic defences being erected and protective walls having been constructed in the areas where animal attacks tended to be more prevalent. The road was seeing a lot more use these days after all, as trade and diplomacy flowed backwards and forwards between MSI in Stellar Bay and the Iconoclasts in Amber Heights.

Felix tried to remember what the area had looked like when he and the rest of the crew of the Unreliable had landed on Monarch for the first time, and was amazed in retrospect by how much progress they had managed to make in what had only been two years.

The journey to Stellar Bay ended up being a relatively quick one, and, from what Max had told him of his and the scientists’ journey from Cascadia, comparatively safe. Aside from a small pack of canids that had managed to wander onto the road, and a gang of marauders that had to be insane and/or desperate to attack a group so much larger than their own, the trip north was relatively peaceful.

Felix lingered near the back of the group with Max, under the pretext of watching over the rest of them, but in reality just wanting to be close to the older man for just a little while longer. He felt like he couldn’t stop smiling, and, judging by the fact that Max spent most of the journey with a smile on his face as well, it was contagious.

Felix’s smile only disappeared when they were fending off the marauders or the canids, and then, when they finally reached the walls of Stellar Bay. He accompanied Max to the MSI building where the scientists were to meet with Sanjar and the rest of their new team, while the rest of the Iconoclasts headed to the nearest bar for a few drinks.

Sanjar Nandi was just as awkward and prone to rambling as Felix remembered. When he realised that the MSI leader intended to give the scientists and Max a full tour of the new facilities before letting them get on with their work, he leaned over to Max with as much subtlety as he could manage.

“Meet you at Left Field later?” Felix asked, knowing that the other Iconoclasts would have headed to the Yacht Club, and wanting a location with a little more intimacy. He hoped that Max remembered the tossball bar from their time on the Unreliable.

Max nodded.

“Hopefully we won’t be too much longer,” he whispered, sharing a brief smile with Felix before the younger man slipped out.

* * *

“Here you go,” Nell said as she passed Felix’s drink to him.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling at Left Field’s owner and nursing the drink in front of him for a while before taking a sip.

Nell’s attention quickly returned to the tossball game that was currently being broadcast into her little establishment. Felix tried to pay attention to the game as well, or to his drink, but his heart just wasn’t in it.

He could remember having a crush on Nell when he had first met her. After all, she was cute, and friendly, and she liked tossball even more than Felix did. How could he _not_ have a crush on her?

It was all still true. Nell was still attractive, and she still loved tossball, and yet Felix couldn’t even get himself to focus on her for more than a couple of seconds.

His mind was too preoccupied with Max; with what their reunion might mean, and with how he was going to bring himself to say goodbye to the other man when he left Monarch.

One drink turned into two while Felix waited for the older man to show, although he made sure that the second was just a bottle of purpleberry punch. The last thing that he wanted was to get drunk and end up making a fool out of himself like he had when he had crawled into Max’s bunk.

The memory of that disastrous night had him chugging his purpleberry punch and wishing that it was something a little stronger.

He had just put the half-empty bottle down on the bar in front of him when he heard someone else enter through the front door, and sure enough, when he turned around Max was standing there and smiling at him.

“Apologies for taking so long,” he told Felix. “I wanted to make sure that the scientists were all settled in and had my contact information if they ever needed my assistance again, and then Master Nandi wanted to talk to _me_ , specifically.”

“Then I’m surprised you were able to get out as soon as you did,” Felix said with a grin, before gesturing to the barstool beside him. “Come on. Let me buy you a drink.”

Luckily the tossball broadcast gave them something to talk about that was relatively safe, and before long they were joking and teasing each other as though no time at all had passed.

“And of course you still support the Rangers,” Max said with a smile and a gentle shake of his head.

“Of course,” Felix said. “I mean, I supported them when they were the underdogs. You think I’m going to give up on them now that they’ve actually started winning? Come on Max, you just don’t want to admit that I was right the whole time. I told you they had potential.”

* * *

Max couldn’t help but smile as Felix boasted about his beloved tossball team. The younger man’s new life obviously suited him. He seemed to be glowing these days, and Max found himself momentarily distracted by the curve of Felix’s smile and the fullness of his lips.

He tore his eyes away from Felix’s mouth and concentrated instead on the purpleberry wine in his glass, swirling the liquid around and trying to pretend that its deep magenta hue was of more interest to him than Felix’s beauty.

Max lifted the glass to his mouth, downed its contents in one go and summoned his courage. Part of him still insisted that he was making a mistake; that he shouldn’t force things and should just enjoy the time that he and Felix were spending together, but he also knew that if he didn’t make a move now then he would always wonder what would have happened if he did, and at the very least he knew that if everything went wrong and he made things irreparably awkward between himself and Felix, then he would be able to leave Stellar Bay the very next day.

“MSI have set aside a rather elaborate bedroom suite that they insist I take for the night,” Max said, feeling more than a little nervous as he did. He knew how Felix felt about certain people receiving privileges beyond those of their fellow man purely because of their station in life, and hoped that this did not fall under that category in Felix’s eyes. “One of the privileges of being a vicar I suppose.”

Felix shrugged.

“Could be they’re just grateful because you’ve been helping out,” Felix suggested.

Neither of them suggested that it was because of Max’s fame as a crew member of the Unreliable. If that was the case then surely MSI would have found such a room for Felix as well.

“Perhaps,” Max said. “Regardless, I am telling you this because I was wondering whether you might wish to join me?”

He noticed the widening of Felix’s eyes and quickly backtracked to fix his error.

“It is not my intention to implicate anything,” he amended. “You don’t… I mean, we don’t have to… If you don’t want to…”

Max tried to pretend that he couldn’t see the blush that had so obviously appeared on Felix’s face. He would be lying if he said that the idea of resuming the more physical aspects of his relationship with Felix wasn’t a tempting one (in fact it would perhaps be more accurate to say that he hadn’t been able to _stop_ thinking about the idea since his path had crossed with Felix’s own the day before) but the last thing that he wanted was to presume, or to make Felix uncomfortable.

After all, it had been years. As far as Max knew Felix had moved on and had a pretty young thing waiting for him back in Amber Heights.

Still, the offer had been extended, and Max told himself that he would be happy if Felix accepted regardless of whether or not it might mean a very tense and uncomfortable night for himself. After all, the bed that MSI had lent him was more than big enough for two people to share, regardless of whether or not the two were intimate with one another.

Max suspected that the bed in question had been diverted from its intended destination in Byzantium through possibly illegal means. Either that or it had, once upon a time, been set aside for any visiting corporate ambassadors. Even the largest, nicest honeymoon suite available for the average Halcyon worker to hire for a couple of nights upon successfully signing a marriage contract wasn’t as nice as the room that MSI had offered Max, and it seemed to him a shame for it to be wasted on one person alone.

He readied about half a dozen excuses should Felix question his intentions, but it turned out that he needed precisely none of them as Felix stared at him and then, the blush still obvious on his cheeks, answered Max’s question with a simple “okay.”

* * *

Felix let out an impressed whistle as he entered the room behind Max. He’d never seen such opulence outside of Byzantium before. Sure, he knew that the Board bigwigs all lived in luxury compared to the rest of them, but it was one thing to know it and another thing to actually see it or have that luxury extended to himself.

The bed was enormous, and Felix found himself frowning as he looked at it. It was more than big enough for two people. His mind had been imagining what might happen between himself and Max that evening ever since Max had invited him to stay in his room. In his imagination the bed had been smaller; still big enough for two, but small enough that they would have no choice but to lie there, pressed against one another, and then Max’s arm would wrap around Felix, only because it was more comfortable that way, you understand, and the next thing either of them knew they would be making out, because of course they would.

Now Felix wasn’t sure that there would be any making out happening at all that night. As far as he knew Max had meant the invitation as nothing more than a kindness. The bed was _huge_ after all, and it really did seem a waste for only one person to use it when they would probably be able to share and not even notice there was another person in the bed with them.

They tried to rekindle the camaraderie that had existed between them on the road and at Left Field, but things had suddenly become awkward between them. Felix didn’t know whether he should start flirting with Max or teasing him. The older man had likewise fallen mostly silent since they had entered the room.

“Perhaps we should just try to sleep,” Max eventually said, offering Felix a smile that was anything but confident.

“Yeah,” Felix muttered. “That sounds like a plan.”

They both shed their outer layers. Max then dimmed the lights and they climbed into opposite sides of the bed.

Felix tried to relax, but it was impossible when he knew that Max was lying there in the darkness on the opposite side of the bed; the bed that was far too large and far too soft and warm, something that Felix had only ever seen in serials before. It was comfortable, but so different from anything that he had ever slept on before that for a moment Felix was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep in it at all.

He settled into the pillow, and that too was softer and more comfortable than he was used to, and found himself facing Max, the older man’s face resting on the other pillow on the other side of the bed.

He was further away than Felix had anticipated, but he still felt his heart skip a beat when Max’s eyes met his own in the darkness.

There was a gap between them now, one that Felix wasn’t sure how to cross, or even if he should. Two feet between their faces; less at certain points along their bodies, but still a space, and one that Felix wished wasn’t there at all.

He squirmed beneath the blanket, stretching his feet out towards Max’s own. His toes brushed against something that might have been Max’s foot. If the other man felt it then his expression didn’t change at all, and his foot remained exactly where it had been.

Felix swallowed nervously, gathered his courage, and reached out with his hand instead, finding Max’s own beneath the covers and letting a couple of his fingers just barely brush against the back of Max’s hand. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were still staring at one another then he might have even been able to pass it off as an accident.

Max’s hand moved slowly, turning Felix’s own hand around until their fingers were loosely entwined. Felix wondered if Max could feel how fast his heart was beating through the tips of his fingers.

Max’s hand tightened around Felix’s own, and brought it, ever so slowly and carefully, up to his mouth, where he pressed a soft kiss to Felix’s fingers.

If Felix’s pulse hadn’t already been racing then that soft, tender gesture would have done it. Max smiled at Felix as he pulled back from Felix’s hand, and Felix knew that he was lost.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked.

“It means whatever you want it to mean,” Max replied.

It was as annoyingly cryptic as Max always was, but it, along with Max’s smile, was all the invitation that Felix needed to close the space between them.

He shuffled across the bed, closing the gap between them and pressing his lips against Max’s own. Max responded immediately, kissing Felix back with a mixture of restraint and passion that Felix knew he would never be able to match. As it was his heart already felt like it was beating twice as fast as normal.

Felix wrapped his arms around Max’s shoulders, pulling him in closer to deepen the kiss. Max let out a low, needy groan, and his arms moved to wrap around Felix’s back and pull him in closer, Felix gasping into the kiss when he felt the rest of their bodies pressing against one another, just as close as he had been craving.

He threw one leg over Max’s hip and pressed himself against Max’s body as much as he could, desperate to feel the other man’s warmth.

Max pulled back from the kiss, and Felix was tempted to complain, despite the fact that they both needed to breathe, until Max leaned down and used his mouth instead to place a series of smaller kisses on Felix’s skin, starting on Felix’s jaw and moving down to his neck.

“I missed this,” Max whispered into Felix’s skin before nuzzling into him, the gentle press of his nose and mouth enough to send shivers down Felix’s back.

Felix wondered if Max really meant ‘I missed you.’ Felix hoped that he did, and besides, they’d only done this twice before. It would be silly to miss something you’d only done twice, Felix’s own pining and fantasizing notwithstanding.

“You know what else I’ve missed?” Felix asked.

Max let out a sort of half-chuckle that Felix would have found absolutely infuriating when they had first met, but which now made his heart clench strangely in his chest.

“What’s that?” Max asked, before nuzzling into the skin of Felix’s neck once more.

Felix had been sure that he had been about to say something totally smooth; something that would knock Max’s socks right off, but Max’s attentions were making any sort of coherent thought rapidly flee from his mind.

“I… shit,” Felix gasped as Max started to kiss and suck at the side of his neck again. “I don’t… You?”

It was not what Felix had been intending to say. He was sure of that, but it was apparently enough to make Max’s breath catch. Felix could feel the other man’s hands tremble where they moved to grasp Felix’s hips and try to pull him closer.

“Felix,” Max whispered, and Felix didn’t think his name had ever sounded so nice as when Max said it like that, all dark and gravelly and full of promise.

Max’s hands moved down to grasp Felix’s rear and pull their lower torsos flush against one another. Felix let out a loud cry of pleasure when he realised that Max was just as hard as he was.

“You know,” Max said, one of his hands already working to undo Felix’s belt. “We don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to.”

As though Felix would ever ask him to stop. Damn Max and his always trying to do the right thing. Felix just wanted him to get on with it already.

“Please, you can’t stop now,” Felix said, knowing that he had never been so sure of wanting something in his entire life. “Come on.”

He ground against Max, not sure whether he was hoping for more attention from Max’s hand or whether he just wanted to feel the friction of their still-clothed erections against one another.

Either way Max let out a cry of pleasure in response, before leaning down and capturing Felix’s lips in a kiss that was both passionate and absolutely dominating as though Max was trying to fit two years’ worth of kisses into that single moment.

Felix felt like he was being swept away. He already felt as though Max was completely in control of what was happening, but that was how he always seemed to end up feeling when he was with Max. It was like he couldn’t think straight; like he didn’t know how to breathe or move or exist unless it was with Max’s lips on his mouth and Max’s hands on his body.

When Max pulled back for a moment Felix found himself immediately gasping the other man’s name; his own voice already sounding desperate and broken to his ears. Max stared down at him; his eyes blown wide in the darkness of the night, before pushing the blanket that had been covering them to one side and running his hands over Felix’s chest.

There was still an undershirt between his skin and Max’s hands, and Felix wished that he could banish it. He waited until Max’s caresses had halted for a moment, before tearing the undershirt off and throwing it to the other side of the room.

Max responded to that by surging forward, capturing Felix’s mouth in another kiss and letting his hands resume their exploration of Felix’s now bare chest. He both heard and felt Max moan into the kiss, and wasn’t sure what had prompted it until he realised that at some stage his hands had come to rest on Max’s rear, seemingly without his permission.

Now that he realised where his hands were sitting he couldn’t resist giving Max’s rear a gentle squeeze, which prompted another groan and made Max grind down against Felix’s body.

They were still wearing too much, and apparently they simultaneously decided to do something about it, their hands attempting to remove each other’s pants at the same time, while their lips stayed pressed against one another.

After much struggling and moaning and trying to stay pressed against one another as much as possible while simultaneously attempting to get undressed they eventually succeeded in removing all of their clothes.

Felix was caught between wanting to stare at Max’s naked body, or as much of it as he could see in the darkness, and immediately running his hands all over it. In the end Max made the decision for him, staring down at Felix with hungry eyes before immediately leaning down and attaching his lips to Felix’s skin.

He started high up on Felix’s torso, near his collarbone, pressing kiss after kiss to Felix’s skin as he slowly made his way down Felix’s body. He moved over his chest and then down the centre of his stomach, pressing one kiss above Felix’s bellybutton and then another below, while Felix felt himself being slowly torn apart and washed away by Max’s affections.

He knew what Max’s intended destination had to be, but he still found himself screaming when Max’s lips finally reached the tip of his cock. Max’s hand rubbed softly against his hips, stilling him and stopping the desperate writhing and bucking that Felix wouldn’t have been able to hold back if it wasn’t for Max’s gentle touch.

“It’s all right,” Max said as his hands moved up and down Felix’s sides. “I have you.”

Felix let out a whimper which rapidly turned into another scream as Max’s lips wrapped themselves around his cock again, this time sinking lower as he took Felix into his mouth.

Oh law, the feeling of Max’s mouth on him was absolutely perfect, and Felix knew that regardless of what happened between the two of them, this moment would be enough to fuel his fantasies for years to come.

He knew that he was gasping and muttering Max’s name, over and over again, unable to think of anything apart from the pleasure. He reached down, wanting to touch Max’s head, to run his fingers through the other man’s hair, but not knowing if it would be allowed.

Max must have noticed him hesitating, because he grabbed one of Felix’s hands and placed it on his own head. Felix was still for a moment, before running his fingers through the older man’s hair, marvelling at the softness of it.

Max let out a groan as he did, the sensation travelling right through Felix’s cock, and he was unable to stop himself from bucking up into Max’s mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to choke out as Max’s removed his mouth from Felix’s cock.

“It’s all right,” Max said, his voice deep and raw, before returning his attention to Felix’s erection, lavishing it with kisses before sucking gently at the top.

Felix threw his head back and gasped and whimpered, unable to do much more as Max continued to kiss and suck.

Before long he felt one of Max’s hands move further down, his fingers pressing gently at Felix’s hole. The added stimulation was too much. Max had barely started to stretch him when Felix was begging and blabbering for him to stop.

“Please Max,” he said. “You need to stop because if you don’t then this is going to be over way too soon and I don’t want it to be over yet. Please, Max. Please.”

Max pulled back and away from Felix’s cock, and part of Felix immediately regretted asking for him to stop, but he wanted to finish with Max; wanted to feel the other man on top of him and inside him and all around him when he gave himself over to oblivion.

Max’s mouth might have retreated but his fingers didn’t. He continued to stretch Felix open for a few more minutes, only now he was looking right into Felix’s eyes as he did. Felix didn’t know whether the older man just wanted to keep an eye on him and make sure that everything was all right or whether he was just enjoying the sight of Felix all flushed and lost in pleasure. Whatever it was, it was too much, and Felix could only meet Max’s gaze for a few seconds before he was squeezing his eyes shut and trying to bite back his cries.

He already felt too open and too vulnerable when they were together like this. He wasn’t sure he could take the thought of Max looking down deep inside of him and discovering exactly how much Felix had wanted this; had wanted Max as soon as they had been reunited in the Monarch wilderness.

Max’s hand left Felix’s body, and he leaned down to capture Felix’s mouth in his own. Felix went willingly, opening his mouth for the older man and giving himself over completely, moaning wantonly as he did.

Max pulled back, and Felix couldn’t help but let out a whimper as the older man stared down at him once more. He cupped the side of Felix’s face, catching Felix’s gaze with his own once more.

“Felix,” he breathed, making Felix’s heart do a strange little somersault in his chest, before pushing inside of him and…

Oh law! This was everything Felix had wanted. Max’s lips were on his own once more, and soon their arms were wrapping around one another and Max was moving inside of him and oh, this was perfect and Felix never wanted it to end.

Max pulled back from the kiss, his forehead coming to rest on Felix’s shoulder, and Felix would have missed the older man’s kisses if it wasn’t for the fact that he was calling out Felix’s name over and over again and he was saying it so sweetly, as if Felix’s name was something to be savoured, and Felix could feel Max’s breath on his shoulder and his hands running over his back and thighs and sides, as though Max couldn’t decide where he wanted to touch Felix more.

Felix’s legs had come up to wrap around Max’s lower body pretty much as soon as Max had entered him, and they continued to hold on to him as Max thrust in and out. Felix’s arms held Max close as he breathed against Felix’s shoulder, pausing every so often to press a desperate kiss to whatever patch of skin on Felix’s neck or shoulder or ear that he could reach.

Felix knew that neither of them would be able to last long at their current pace. It was too good, too overwhelming, and if the desperate cries and the shuddering of his lover were any indication then he knew that Max wasn’t in any better shape than he was.

The pleasure grew and grew, and sure enough Felix was throwing his head back and screaming as he lost himself in his orgasm. It seemed to go on and on. He wasn’t even sure whether he came first or Max did, but he felt the other man’s hold on him tighten; felt Max’s thrusts stutter and somehow, through the haze of his own pleasure, heard the other man cry out his name, and then whisper it over and over and over again until he fell silent.

When Felix came down and was able to feel anything other than pleasure again, he realised that Max was resting half on top of Felix, his head on Felix’s chest, and he was running one hand softly through Felix’s curls in the most gentle of caresses.

“Hey,” Felix said, even that one simple word coming out slightly husky and broken.

A wide, joyous grin immediately broke out on Max’s face.

“Hey,” he replied.

Felix adjusted his own position so that he could run his hand over Max’s back and feel the tight muscle and soft skin there.

“I’m glad we got that out in the open,” Felix said.

Max let out a chuckle.

“Yes, me too.”

They were silent for a moment, and this time there was nothing awkward about it. Felix considered telling Max how much he had wanted the older man, or how incredible Max had just made him feel, but Max broke the silence before Felix did.

“By all the stars Felix,” Max said, his hand briefly stopping it’s caressing of Felix’s hair to cup the side of his face instead. “You’re so beautiful.”

Felix let out a soft gasp, and felt his heart clench uncomfortably in his chest. He didn’t know what to say or how to react, but he did wonder how Max might react if Felix asked the older man to stay with him on Monarch forever.

Felix didn’t know whether he could trust himself to speak at that moment, and so instead he grabbed Max’s hand in his own and brought it up to his face, pressing kiss after kiss to his fingers and palm and wrist.

Eventually they fell asleep, their hands still entwined, and Max’s head still resting on Felix’s chest.


	3. Chapter Three

Max had originally planned to leave Monarch as soon as he had seen the team of scientists to safety. He had initially come to Monarch because of their distress call after all. Part of him insisted that he should still leave; that there were people and communities out there who needed his help.

However, the night that he had spent with Felix had broken his resolve. Now, more than anything else, he just wanted to stay with Felix. Giving in and spending the night together had removed any awkwardness that had existed between them, and Max had spent the entire morning after trying to work out whether he should find some sort of excuse to stay on Monarch or whether it would be more appropriate to ask Felix to accompany him on his own journeys.

Either way, he knew now that he desperately wanted to stay by Felix’s side, whatever that looked like. Assuming of course that Felix would have him. One night of very, very good sex did not make a relationship after all, no matter how much they might have gazed adoringly into each other’s eyes afterwards.

Max had been incredibly tempted to tell Felix that he loved him in those blissful minutes after their coupling. It was only the thought of a rejection and how much that would ruin the moment that had stopped him. After all, it was clear that Felix desired him, but there was a very large gap indeed between desiring someone and being madly in love with them.

It was this thought, and the fear of discovering that his feelings for Felix were entirely one-sided that stopped him from saying anything the next morning either.

The problem was that he had absolutely no plans and no idea where he should travel to next, and he had almost talked himself into offering to help Commander Zora and the Iconoclasts with the restoration and expansion of Amber Heights when Felix came to his rescue.

* * *

Felix knew that he wouldn’t be able to stand being separated from Max again so soon. Not after what they had done the night before, and not with his heart feeling like it was alternating between glowing and threatening to explode whenever he was around Max.

“You know, Commander Zora has been talking about trying to clear out Cascadia for a while,” Felix said, while the two of them got lunch together in Stellar Bay, in a mutual effort to delay the moment of their separation. “Kick the marauders and the wildlife out, clean it up and turn it back into a proper settlement.”

Max seemed to already be thinking the idea through. Felix knew that Max was smart. He could only hope that he wasn’t smart enough to see Felix’s bringing it up right at that moment for the desperate attempt to keep Max on Monarch that it was, or that if he did, that he wouldn’t judge Felix too harshly for it.

“It would certainly help to avoid any further incidents that resemble what happened with Doctor Renshaw and her team,” Max commented.

“See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Felix said. “Only problem is that Commander Zora hasn’t had the people to spare on something risky like that. They’re all too busy keeping Amber Heights afloat.”

Max sent a sly smile in Felix’s direction, one which sent a shiver all the way down Felix’s back.

“But if one were to put together a small team led by a couple of intrepid freelancers…” Max began, and Felix couldn’t help but smile back at him when he realised Max’s mind was going exactly where Felix had wanted it to.

“Exactly!” he said. “More and more people are coming to Monarch these days, but if we can get Cascadia back up and running again then the expansion of Amber Heights won’t be so desperate any more, right?”

“I am certain that with the two of us pitching and leading such a mission, Mister Nandi and Commander Zora will be able to spare at least a few people and resources to help us out,” Max suggested.

‘Us.’ Max had said ‘us.’ Felix tried to stop his excitement at the prospect that Max would be staying on Monarch from showing _too much_.

“So you’re in?” Felix asked.

Max smiled and nodded and took another bite of his saltuna.

“I didn’t have anything planned beyond helping out Doctor Renshaw and her team,” he said once he had finished his mouthful. “So count me in.”

Felix, to his own embarrassment, had just sat there watching him while he ate, but now he felt his smile growing. He only hoped that he wasn’t giving away his feelings for Max. The last thing that he wanted was to scare the older man off.

* * *

Sanjar barely needed to think about Felix and Max’s proposal. The prospect that someone was willing to clear out Cascadia with no cost to Sanjar except for the manpower that Felix and Max requested must have seemed like a blessing to him.

“Oh, no doubt Rizzo’s will try and claim it as their property as soon as we’ve cleared it out and made it liveable again,” Sanjar commented, “but you leave them to me. I’m sure that I can work out some sort of deal with them that will be favourable to us.”

* * *

Upon returning to Amber Heights and pitching the idea to Commander Zora they found her just as favourable to the idea as Sanjar had been.

“Fortifying the roads between here and Cascadia isn’t going to be half as easy as the ones between here and Stellar Bay,” she mused for a moment as she examined a map of the surrounding area. “But with all the extra interplanetary travel going on these days getting Cascadia up and running again can only be a good thing. Can you imagine what we could accomplish if we had another settlement that far south? We could house so many more settlers, and the Iconoclasts could provide guards to make sure that the settlement doesn’t get overrun again.”

She trailed off, already making plans to set up caravans and armed patrols between Amber Heights and Cascadia, calling to her lieutenants to get their input and ask for potential volunteers. She paused only when Felix and Max made to leave the room, looking up at them with concern clear on her features.

“Are you sure you two want to be a part of this?” she asked, as though they hadn’t been the ones to pitch the idea in the first place. “It’s not going to be easy. Cascadia is dangerous at the best of times.”

“Yeah we know,” Felix said.

“Thank you Miss Blackwood,” Max said at the same time. “But we’re well aware.”

Zora shrugged, as though to say that if they wanted to risk their lives then it was no skin off her back, and let them go.

* * *

It was going to take a couple of days to prepare everything for the mission to clear out Cascadia. The MSI and Iconoclast volunteers were all due to meet in Amber Heights in two days. In the meantime there was nothing for Max and Felix to do but wait.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Felix _could_ have gone back to helping out with the construction of the outer walls, but he didn’t want to do that and leave Max all on his own. They helped out with the preparations as much as they could, but it was clear that the Iconoclasts, and especially the MSI, held them both, especially Max, in a certain amount of awe and high regard.

Max knew this. He also knew that no doubt Commander Zora would have been happy enough to offer Max a room to stay in while the preparations were underway, as she had that first night Max and the scientists had stayed in Amber Heights. Felix wasn’t as foolish as a lot of people might believe, and so, Max reasoned, Felix must have also realised this.

That did not, however, stop Felix from approaching him during their first afternoon back in Amber Heights, looking like he had something either very important or very embarrassing to bring up with Max.

“So, I was thinking about where you were going to stay tonight,” Felix began, rubbing at the back of his head and looking anywhere but directly at Max. “And I thought, I mean, unless you’ve already picked out somewhere to stay, I thought that you could stay in my quarters if you wanted?”

Max froze. He hadn’t thought about staying in Felix’s quarters at all, but now that he _was_ thinking about it, the prospect of seeing where the younger man had lived over the past couple of years was something he found himself suddenly, desperately invested in.

Unfortunately Felix must have mistaken his silence for indecision, because he continued on as though Max still needed convincing.

“I know it’s not as fancy as what you’re probably used to,” Felix said. “And there’s only one bunk, but if that’s a problem then I can just grab some blankets and sleep on the floor or something.”

“Mister Millstone,” Max said, surprised that Felix thought he might be uncomfortable sharing a smaller bunk with the younger man considering everything else that the two of them had experienced together.

“Come on Max. How many times do I have to tell you? It’s just Felix,” the younger man complained. “Mister Millstone is way too formal.”

“Felix,” Max tried again, reaching out to take one of Felix’s hands in his own. He ran his thumb over Felix’s skin, appreciating the worn texture of it, and noting with some pleasure how Felix’s breath caught in his throat at such a small, tender gesture.

“I’m sure your bunk will be sufficient for both of us,” Max concluded, his thumb still caressing Felix’s hand as he spoke.

* * *

Max had not been expecting luxury. The room that he and Felix had shared in Stellar Bay had been exceptional, even by his standards. Still, Felix’s quarters were rather small, especially considering that their owner had played a not insubstantial part in saving the system.

They were very clearly Felix’s though, with tossball posters lining the walls and various keepsakes from their travels and the two years since placed wherever there was space. Max smiled as he noted the couple of entry level science books he had given to Felix when he had first expressed an interest in learning, placed on a small shelf alongside a couple of anti-authoritarian manifestos, a handful of memoirs and biographies from tossball players, and one single, small volume on scientism that Max did not remember giving to him, or, for that matter, ever owning as part of his collection.

The fact that Felix had elected to continue his education without Max’s input was encouraging, and the fact that he had decided to at least investigate scientism as a topic was interesting to say the least. Max didn’t believe in its principles anymore, and he was fairly certain that Felix had never, and would never, believe in a religion that was so restrictive, so its place alongside the other books was a curiosity. Max wondered rather selfishly for a moment whether Felix might have chosen to read that book in particular because it reminded him of Max or had been hoping for a better understanding of him.

It was an utterly foolish thought. No doubt there was some sort of random happenstance that saw the book finding its way into Felix’s collection that had absolutely nothing to do with Max.

He cast his eyes instead to the tossball stick that was mounted on one wall. Max remembered how good Felix had been with it; using it as a weapon rather than a piece of sports equipment of course; and found himself smiling again as he recalled some of their adventures as part of the Unreliable’s crew. A lot of the situations they had found themselves in hadn’t seemed like happy memories at the time; they were far too dangerous; but now Max found himself missing their little makeshift family and the camaraderie that had developed between them. He had been alone for a lot of his life before then, and he had found himself mostly alone since they had gone their separate ways as well.

“I know it’s probably not much compared to what you’re used to,” Felix said. “But it’s my own space and I don’t have to share it with anybody at all if I don’t want, so that’s nice.”

Max had stayed in far worse during his travels, and Felix was clearly proud of his humble little home, but still Max’s heart ached for him. This was clearly a step up for him compared to how he had been living when their Captain had picked Felix up on the Groundbreaker, but Max couldn’t help but feel that Felix deserved more. As far as he was concerned, Felix deserved the world, and the fact that Max couldn’t give it to him seemed more than a little unfair.

“You know,” Max began slowly and carefully, not entirely sure if he even wanted to say what he was about to, “any person who served as a crew member on board the Unreliable could probably have whatever accommodations they put their mind to, and well…”

He didn’t want Felix to think that Max was his only option. Frankly, he was surprised to discover that the younger man hadn’t found someone else to love in the two years since they had gone their separate ways. A tiny, selfish part of him wanted it to be because Felix was carrying a torch for him, secretly pining for Max in a way that Max had found himself pining for the younger man at the oddest of moments.

“They could probably have _anyone_ that they wanted as well,” Max concluded.

He had intended to continue, to mention how Felix’s role as a member of the Unreliable’s crew brought with it a certain amount of fame and privilege that Felix could undoubtedly call upon should he ever find his situation lacking, but Felix didn’t give him the chance.

“Yeah,” Felix snapped. “I’m sure you could be anywhere you want and with whoever the hell you want, but you’re not.”

Felix stared him down, a fierce determination in his eyes that Max had no idea how to respond to.

“You’re here with me,” Felix concluded, before pressing his mouth to Max’s own.

It was not the soft, gentle kiss that Max had been anticipating. Felix kissed Max like he had the first time they had lain with one another; as though the younger man was attacking him; all teeth and tongue and desperate gasping, his hands already roaming over Max’s torso.

“I wasn’t talking about myself,” Max said once they parted, feeling the warmth of Felix’s breath against his skin as the younger man took a moment to catch his breath. Max carded his fingers through Felix’s hair, still just as soft and as much of a mess as it had been the day that they had picked him up on the Groundbreaker.

Felix let out an unintelligible questioning sound against Max’s neck.

“You could have so much better than this if you wanted,” Max murmured, continuing to run his hands through Felix’s hair.

* * *

And what if all I want is you?

Felix stopped the words from leaving his mouth, but it had been a close thing.

“This is fine,” Felix said, the words coming out as little more than a whisper.

For a moment he found himself getting caught up in a daydream in which he and Max lived together in a fancy house in Byzantium, but then he found himself mentally scoffing at such an idea. Like he could ever stand living in Byzantium, even if it was with Max. The people there were all so fake and so awful.

No, better if they had their own ship. They could travel around helping people and just generally being kickass together, and…

And it was a ridiculous thing to think about because he and Max weren’t even a proper couple, let alone at the stage where they should start thinking about buying a spaceship together.

Still, there was something about seeing Max in his room that made Felix feel incredibly warm.

“Hey,” Felix said, before clearing his throat. He needed to say something otherwise he was going to get caught up in imagining impossible things.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked Max.

* * *

Felix’s bunk was only a little larger than those that they had each had on board the Unreliable. Neither of them minded though, and while it was a far cry from the bed they had shared in Stellar Bay, they made do.

Max lay on Felix’s bed and gazed up in wonder as the younger man rode him into oblivion. His eyes were so dark, his lips were parted, and he stared down at Max with such hunger that for a moment Max was almost convinced that Felix loved him back. He almost gave in and said the words in that moment, but he was barely able to speak, let alone to give words to such an overwhelming emotion.

Felix curled up on top of Max afterwards, his head resting on Max’s shoulder and their limbs entangled with one another, and Max lay there, watching Felix fall asleep on top of him and slowly running a hand through Felix’s hair. He didn’t know how long he lay there, but in those minutes or hours or however long it was, he was forced to come to the conclusion that he was madly in love with Felix Millstone.

Oh, Max had known that he was in love with the younger man, but the bittersweet ache that settled in his heart hit him with such a strength that he didn’t know what to do with it.

Curse it all. He was such a fool. He should have seen this for what it was back on the Unreliable. He should have said something before they had gone their separate ways and spent two years apart. He should have…

But there was no point in lingering on what he should have done. What he had actually done was take the easy way out and leave without ever actually telling Felix how he felt.

* * *

It had been the night before they were going to launch their assault on Tartarus. Everything had come together so quickly, with Phineas Welles and the Board and the Hope, that Max felt as though he could barely keep track of it all.

It was hard to believe that it was all finally happening. After all of their hard work they had managed to recover the Hope, and now all that remained was to break Phineas Welles out of the most secure, heavily fortified prison in the system.

It seemed as though it might end up as nothing more than a suicide mission. Perhaps that was why he and Felix finally found their way back into each other’s arms.

Things between the two of them had settled into a new version of normal. It had taken Felix a while to get used to Max’s new attitude and outlook on life. At first it had seemed as though Felix was just waiting for him to snap and revert back to the old Max; to anger and sarcasm and impatience, but Max didn’t want to be that person anymore. He knew that he could be so much more than that; that _life_ could offer him so much more than the strict tenants of a biased religion if he just opened up and let the universe take him where it would.

Felix might not have been the sort of companion that he would have imagined for himself, but he was starting to think that the universe knew better than him when it came to a lot of things; his own happiness included.

Max and Felix had settled, to both of their surprise, into something that must have looked very much like an actual friendship from the outside. They enjoyed the tossball broadcasts together, although Max found himself much less invested in the outcome these days, and found himself enjoying Felix’s excitement more than he once might have; keeping any words about Felix’s unrealistic optimism and die-hard fanboy-ism to himself, and when things were a little more quiet on board the ship, sometimes Max would find Felix knocking at his door, asking to borrow one of Max’s books or seeking clarity on one of the scientific principles that they had been discussing of late.

There was a hunger for learning there that Max could barely believe had gone unsated for so long. As far as he could see all that Felix had ever really needed was someone to put him on the right path. Someone who wouldn’t betray him or take him for granted, unlike those he had looked up to until now. He didn’t know if he could be that man; not considering that their relationship had, at least for one night, taken a very carnal turn, but he was going to try his hardest.

There was something else that he had noticed about Felix as well. Ever since Max’s revelation Felix had been mentally poking and prodding at Max’s boundaries, testing him and gently trying to get a rise out of him, as though he was just waiting for Max to snap and go back to their old bantering, and as much as Max would admit that he had found said bantering enjoyable at most times, it pained him to admit that not all of the banter, especially in the beginning of their acquaintance, had been particularly good-natured.

It seemed to him that Felix didn’t know what to do or how to act when someone was actually kind to him for once, and that realisation made Max’s heart ache for the younger man.

On that night; the night before the fateful raid on Tartarus, the Unreliable had pulled into Groundbreaker, where the crew had been allowed to enjoy a night of drinking and what their Captain called ‘celebrations.’ True, it could be said that they were celebrating successfully liberating and then jumping The Hope, but the feeling in the crew was generally one of nervous anticipation rather than jubilation. It seemed, to Max at least, that they were all incredibly conscious of the fact that this could be their last night of freedom, or, if things went especially poorly, of life in general.

Nyoka and Ellie had both accepted their Captain’s invitation to go drinking, and Parvati had, to no-one’s surprise considering how well her budding relationship with the station’s chief engineer seemed to be going, taken the opportunity to spend the evening alone with Junlei.

Which meant that Felix and Max were left alone on the Unreliable, with the exceptions of SAM and ADA.

Max had decided that if he was going to face his doom, or at the very least an unassailable prison the next day, then he wanted to do it with a level head. He wasn’t entirely sure why Felix had declined the invitation to go out drinking with the rest of the crew, and in fact he hadn’t even been aware that Felix had until the younger man had stuck his head into Max’s room.

Max had been intending to spend the evening reading and then attending to the horribly drunken crewmates he expected would come stumbling back to the ship at some ungodly hour in the morning. He wasn’t about to decline the perfectly sober company of one of said crewmates however, especially one that he had grown as fond of as he had Felix.

“Hey Max,” Felix said, hovering halfway through the doorway, as if he wasn’t sure whether or not he would be welcome.

“Felix,” Max said, nodding in greeting and then gesturing to the chair that he had set up on the other side of the desk. Initially he had intended the set up to facilitate whatever guidance or confessionals his fellow crew members required of him in his role as a vicar, but these days it was mostly taken up by Felix stopping by to discuss science or tossball or whatever took his fancy, or, on occasion, their Captain, either checking in on him or, a rarity for Max these days, actually asking for guidance.

Felix still seemed to hesitate, but then he made a beeline for the chair and sat straight down in it. He didn’t settle though, instead fidgeting anxiously, and he wouldn’t meet Max’s eyes.

“I’m surprised you didn’t go out with the others,” Max said, mostly in an attempt to ease the tension.

“Well, lately Spectrum Vodka has led to me making some pretty terrible decisions,” Felix said, finally meeting Max’s eyes and offering him a smile, albeit one that still looked relatively nervous.

Max couldn’t help but think back to the night that he had awoken to find an incredibly drunk Felix crawling into his bunk. They’d never really discussed it beyond a single, slightly awkward conversation the morning after. Max smiled at the memory, and had to suppress a chuckle.

He waited for Felix to say more, but the younger man was suspiciously quiet in the seat across from him, and seemed more interested in staring at his own hands than anything Max might have to offer.

“Is something on your mind?” Max prompted.

“Yeah,” Felix said, before letting out a very long and very loud sigh. “It’s just, with everything that’s happening tomorrow, I don’t want to have any regrets.”

Max was just considering how he could most gently ask Felix for more information when Felix leaned across his desk, grabbed Max by the front of his vestments and pulled Max up to press a rather passionate kiss against his lips.

It was over too soon, and Max hadn’t even closed his eyes before Felix was retreating. His hands continued to clutch at Max’s clothing, but his eyes darted down to Max’s lips and then up to his eyes, his nervousness so clear on his face that Max wasn’t sure whether to console him or kiss him senseless.

“Oh,” was all that left Max’s mouth in the end.

He reached down to untangle Felix’s hands from his clothing, encouraging the younger man’s fingers to becoming entangled with his own instead. He leaned forward a little further, looking carefully at Felix’s face for any sign that he was overstepping or that Felix had changed his mind, before pressing his lips gently against Felix’s own.

Felix let out a soft whimper as they both closed their eyes. Their hands clutched each other tightly where they now rested on the desk in between them.

Max forced himself to go slow, despite the urgent passion and desperation of Felix’s initial kiss. Whatever this lead to, the last thing that Max wanted was a repeat of their first time sleeping together. That had been ill-advised to say the least, and while Max didn’t regret it, he did regret the lack of care that he had taken during their tryst, and the fact that he had let Felix leave afterwards without trying to at least talk through what had happened between them.

He resolved that this time was going to be different. He had been given an opportunity to show Felix a level of kindness and affection that he suspected Felix had never experienced before, and he would be a fool to waste it.

He pulled back from the kiss slowly. Felix chased his lips, but only for a moment. When his eyes opened, they opened wide, and he stared at Max again as though fearing that Max was going to leave him with only that kiss, an expression that only grew worse when Max pulled his hands away from Felix’s own and took a couple of steps back from the desk.

“Max,” Felix began. “I… I…”

Max smiled softly at the younger man and then moved around the desk, so that he was standing right next to Felix. He grabbed one of Felix’s hands in his own again, entwining their fingers once more, before leaning close and pressing a brief, gentle kiss to the corner of Felix’s mouth.

It was just a sweet, simple gesture, but Felix’s eyes closed nevertheless, and he let out another tiny whimper when Max pulled back once more.

“Come with me,” Max prompted Felix as he headed towards the bunk at the back of his room, Felix’s hand still clinging tightly to his own.

Felix’s face lit up immediately.

* * *

Ten minutes later Max had a mostly naked Felix lying on the bunk beneath him. Max was busy pressing gentle kisses to every patch of skin his mouth could reach, while Felix’s hands clutched at his hair and stroked the side of his face.

“Max,” Felix kept crying out, his voice close to breaking. “Please!”

Max pressed a kiss just above Felix’s bellybutton, which prompted the hand that had been stroking Max’s face to disappear. Max looked up to discover that one of Felix’s arms was now hiding a large portion of his face from Max’s gaze; mostly his eyes.

Max moved further up Felix’s body, stopping the kisses, at least for now.

“Felix?” he asked, realising as he did that Felix had started to cry. “Are you all right? Do you need me to stop?”

“No!” Felix cried out, immediately removing the arm from across his face. “I mean yes. I’m all right. You don’t have to stop. Please.”

Max reached up and brushed away the tears from Felix’s face.

“It’s just…” Felix started, before taking a deep breath and trying again. “It’s just a lot.”

Max reminded himself that this; someone being gentle to Felix and treating him with care, was probably incredibly new to him. That was the whole point of this exercise after all. Still, he hadn’t expected Felix to respond like _this_.

“Tell me if you need me to stop or slow down,” Max told him.

Max wasn’t sure if his offer actually helped Felix at all. He did hear Felix inhale sharply, but the look on his face seemed to be one of such confusion that it made Max’s heart ache.

He moved up Felix’s body and kissed away any traces of tears that remained, his hands moving slowly and gently over Felix’s bare skin as he did.

“Hush Felix,” he whispered, before pressing another kiss to Felix’s cheek. “It’s all right. I have you, and I’m going to take such good care of you.”

Felix let out a strangled cry in response to that, before turning his head and capturing Max’s mouth in a passionate, demanding kiss. When they parted Max found Felix’s hands clutching at his clothing.

“Clothes off,” Felix demanded. “Now.”

Max smiled down at him, before grabbing Felix’s hands and pulling them away from his clothing as gently as possible. He knew that he could not deny such a simple request though, and immediately began to remove his own clothing.

He sat back in Felix’s lap, where the evidence of Felix’s arousal pressed up against Max’s thigh. Max knew that he didn’t have to worry about whether or not Felix was actually enjoying Max’s more gentle approach; not if Felix’s already leaking erection was any indication.

Max removed his clothing as slowly and elegantly as he could, while below him Felix looked up at him with open hunger on his face. Felix was happily devouring every inch of bare skin that Max revealed, with an intensity that surprised the older man. That a younger man like Felix could still find him that desirable was both wonderful for his ego and absolutely terrifying.

Once Max’s clothing was gone Felix reached up as though to touch him, but hesitated, his hands hovering a few inches away from Max’s skin.

“Can I touch you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course,” Max replied.

He wasn’t sure why Felix thought that he needed to ask Max’s permission considering how much Max had already done to the younger man. Perhaps it was an attempt to reciprocate Max’s own kindness and compassion?

Either way Max was still as Felix’s hands ran over his chest and stomach. Felix’s hands travelled lower, and Felix paused again with one hand hovering over Max’s erection. He glanced up at Max and then back down again as though seeking his permission.

“You can touch me wherever you want,” Max told him. “You don’t have to though.”

Felix scoffed at that, as though only a crazy person or a coward would choose not to touch, before wrapping his hand around Max’s erection and stroking it, his touch confident and firm as it moved up and down Max’s length.

Max closed his eyes and found himself bucking up into Felix’s touch. This wasn’t at all how things were supposed to be going. He was supposed to be spoiling Felix and giving him pleasure, not the other way around. He couldn’t deny that he had found himself fantasizing about this though, among other, just as guilty fantasies about the younger man; about his hands and lips and the taste of his skin.

He opened his eyes and saw Felix staring up at him. Their gazes found one another in that moment; strangely intimate and open and both absolutely perfect and absolutely terrifying.

“Yes,” Max breathed out, his gaze still locked with Felix’s own. “That’s good. Just like that.”

Felix’s features shifted into something that wasn’t quite a frown; something that Max thought might be aligned closer to pleasure than anger.

“You’re so good Felix,” Max continued, wanting to test out a theory. “So good.”

His theory was proved correct when Felix’s breath sped up in response to that. Max watched in rapt fascination as the younger man’s eyes closed, his grip on Max’s erection pausing for a second as he visibly tried to get himself back under control.

Oh yes. Max was going to have a lot of fun with this.

He leaned down, not caring in the slightest when Felix’s hand retreated from his erection altogether, and leaned close to Felix’s ear to mutter straight into it.

“You feel so good Felix,” Max muttered, “so perfect for me.”

Felix let out an audible gasp in response to that, followed by a small, pathetic sound that could only be described as a whimper.

“Such good behaviour deserves a reward, don’t you think?” Max purred into the younger man’s ear, before pressing a gentle kiss to his neck.

The only response Max got from Felix was another whimper.

“You’ve been so good,” Max continued, his hands running down Felix’s side and then caressing Felix’s hips.

“What reward should I give you?” Max asked as he continued his gentle caresses. “Name anything you like Felix, and I shall try my hardest to give it to you.”

“I want you to fuck me!” Felix blurted out. “Please!”

Max grinned and pressed another kiss to Felix’s neck.

To his regret he needed to move back from Felix so that he could lean over and fetch the bottle of oil that he kept tucked beside his bunk. For a second there was a flicker of panic on Felix’s features, but then Max was back, pouring oil on his fingers and his cock.

“Hush,” he told Felix. “I’m here. I’m right here, and you’re still doing so well Felix.”

Once he was sufficiently slicked up he leaned forward and pressed a series of kisses to the corner of his eyes and the centre of his brow, kissing away the worry that had appeared however briefly on Felix’s face.

“Don’t worry,” he told Felix as he lined himself up against Felix’s entrance. “I’m not going to leave before giving you your reward.”

Felix was breathing hard and unsteadily again, his chest heaving and his eyes gone dark as he stared up at Max.

Max pressed inside of him slowly, gently hushing Felix and planting kisses all over Felix’s face as he did.

Felix let out a scream as Max pushed inside of him. For a moment Max was afraid that he had moved too quickly, and he stilled so that he could check on Felix.

The younger man looked as though he was close to crying again, and his breathing had only grown more frantic and uneven.

“Do you need me to stop?” Max asked.

Felix shook his head frantically in response to that.

“No!” he cried out. “Please.”

Max started to move again, pushing deeper inside Felix. He held still for a moment, watching Felix for any sign that his earlier insistence was just bravado.

He moved back out and then deeper once more, making sure that he moved as slowly and gently as he possibly could.

“That’s it Felix,” he murmured. “You feel so good. You’re so good for me, aren’t you?”

That had Felix writhing and tensing up even more than before. If he was close to crying before then he was definitely crying now.

Max leaned down and started kissing his face over and over again once more as he continued to move inside Felix.

“I have you,” Max whispered, between kisses to the side of Felix’s face. “I have you and you feel so amazing around me. Oh Felix.”

He was keeping his pace slow and steady, but the small whimpers and moans that Felix was making with every single one of his movements was making it difficult to control himself.

“Mm,” Max purred into the younger man’s neck. “You’re so good for me Felix. So good.”

He was being spurred on by it all as much as Felix was at that stage, hearing Felix’s stutters and gasps and relishing them as the younger man fell apart beneath him.

“Max,” Felix gasped weakly as Max pushed inside of him once more. “Max! Fuck! Max!”

Max wrapped his arms around Felix and silenced his cries with a long, gentle kiss.

Felix shook in his arms and let out a sound that might have been a scream if Max had not been smothering it with his own lips, and Max realised that the younger man was coming, shaking apart beneath him.

Felix’s pleasure seemed to overwhelm him forever, and after a few more thrusts Max pulled back from the kiss to watch Felix pant and whimper beneath him. All it took after that was a few more thrusts and then Max was coming as well, losing himself in Felix just as Felix himself was coming back to reality.

He collapsed on top of Felix, bringing his hands up to caress the younger man’s face as he slowly came back to himself.

“You were so good Felix,” Max said, as he ran his thumb over Felix’s swollen lips. “So good for me.”

He realised he sounded just as broken as Felix looked.

Felix turned his head to stare directly into Max’s eyes. His breathing was still uneven, and something about him looked completely lost and broken, as though he was begging for Max’s help by staring into his eyes.

Max wished that he knew what he could say. It was true, he had imagined the two of them engaging in a myriad of different activities since the first time that they had slept together, but whatever he might have imagined, he had never imagined that their second time together would be like _this_ , whatever _this_ was.

For a while they just lay there, Max gently stroking the side of Felix’s face as they stared into one another eyes.

“Are you all right?” Max eventually asked.

Felix nodded slowly. Max found himself smiling.

“That was…” Felix eventually whispered, before trailing off.

The bewildered, overawed looking on Felix’s face as he spoke said it all, and the smile that appeared on his face as he trailed off put Max’s mind to ease far more than the younger man’s earlier nodding.

“Yes,” Max said. “It was.”

He could think of at least a half dozen ways that he could have finished Felix’s sentence. Unexpected. Mind-blowing. Almost uncomfortably intimate. The best sex that he had ever had. But they all seemed inadequate and unnecessary.

“Thank you,” Felix said.

Max wished that Felix hadn’t felt the need to thank him. After all, it wasn’t as though he hadn’t enjoyed himself just as much as Felix had. Well, maybe not as much as Felix had judging by how completely blissed out and broken he had seemed by the end, but certainly more than Max would have ever expected.

His eyes caught Felix’s once more. He seemed so open and vulnerable in that moment; a far cry from the tough, untouchable exterior that Felix spent most of his time projecting.

Max didn’t know what to say to the younger man, so instead he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Felix’s own. He kept the kiss slow, although it didn’t stay as shallow as he had been planning for long. Felix opened his mouth up to Max, encouraging the older man to deepen the kiss.

For a few minutes they just lay there, lips locked together in a slow but incredibly passionate kiss.

Felix was the one to eventually pull back from the kiss. He pulled back from Max as well, smiling softly at him.

“Thanks again,” he said, his fingers running over the side of Max’s face.

He sat up, and Max realised that the younger man intended to leave.

He grabbed Felix’s wrist, his grip on the younger man possibly the least gentle touch that he had bestowed upon Felix the entire evening.

“Stay,” Max asked. “Please.”

Felix glanced down at his wrist, where Max was still gripping it tightly, and then up at Max’s face.

Max watched as Felix swallowed nervously, before the younger man turned around and settled back onto the bunk once more without a single word.

Max wrapped his arms around Felix’s body and pulled him close, Felix’s back pressing against his chest.

“Stay with me,” Max murmured, before pressing a kiss to Felix’s bare shoulder. “Just for tonight.”

“All right,” Felix whispered.

The bunk was barely big enough to hold the both of them, but they fell asleep like that, Max holding Felix close and his head pressed into the younger man’s shoulder.

* * *

Someone (and Max never found out whether it was ADA or their Captain or someone else entirely, was thoughtful enough to close the door to Max’s quarters and give them a little privacy, and if anyone on the ship noticed the fact that the two of them emerged from the same room in the morning, then they were kind enough not to mention it.

Either that or they just didn’t care about what Felix and Max may or may not have gotten up to the night before. They had important things to worry about that day after all; like breaking into Tartarus and saving the whole system. Max and Felix’s affair, or whatever you wanted to call it, must have seemed of little importance in comparison.

After Tartarus the Captain had been swept up in the resulting political upheaval, and the crew of the Unreliable had all gone their separate ways. It had all been so sudden and so chaotic. The thought that he might ask Felix to accompany him had occurred to Max more than once during those days, but events had conspired to pull them in different directions before Max could actually summon up the courage to say anything.

* * *

In Amber Heights Max leaned down, brushing Felix’s hair aside once more so that he could place a soft, gentle kiss to the sleeping man’s forehead.

Perhaps it was the Great Plan at work, or perhaps it was just dumb luck, but whatever it was, the universe had seen fit to bring himself and Felix back together once more. He would have to be foolish indeed not to see it for the opportunity it was.

As terrifying as the thought of confessing his feelings was, he would be lying if he said that the thought of parting from Felix again was not infinitely worse.

“I love you,” he breathed against the skin of Felix’s forehead.

It was cowardly, he knew. After all, Felix was asleep and would not be able to hear him say the words, but it helped somewhat to lift the weight that had settled upon his heart. Perhaps soon he would be able to bring himself to say the words while Felix was actually awake.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So here's the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who left comments. They really make posting a fic this that bit more rewarding. I hope you have all enjoyed my attempt at writing an extremely soft take on Millsoto and that you all have a lovely day. :)

Felix was starting to fall in love with the feeling of waking up in Max’s arms. He realised that he was already becoming used to his limbs entangling with Max’s own while the two of them slept, and found himself hoping that he wouldn’t have to become used to sleeping alone again any time soon.

It wasn’t long before the expedition to clear out and resettle Cascadia was ready to go. Zora had spent a lot of time over the past couple of days planning the best way to go about it, with the help of Max, Felix and some input from Sanjar as well.

“All right,” Zora said to the mixed group that had assembled outside the gates of Amber Heights. “You all know your roles. You are to clear out Cascadia’s eastern side and set up a perimeter before venturing down into the labs. Vicar Maximillian De Soto will get the settlement’s automated defences up and running while the rest of you push on to the western side. Once the area is clear you will set up a guard rotation while repairs are completed and supplies are dropped into the settlement via ship.”

“I won’t lie,” Zora continued. “This is a dangerous mission. Cascadia has been home to a variety of large creatures and marauder groups since Rizzo’s abandoned it. Some of you might die, but I’m hoping that if we play things safe, stick to the plan, and watch each other’s backs, then we should be able to keep casualties to a minimum. Is that clear?”

“Crystal clear ma’am!” one of the Iconoclasts replied with a sharp salute and a smile.

The slight quirking up of one of the corners of Zora’s mouth was probably the closest she would ever get to outright returning her soldier’s smile.

“Good luck,” she told the group. “I’ll see you all in Cascadia.”

* * *

The journey south was more unbearable that Felix had anticipated. Max was right there beside Felix the entire time, but there were so many Iconoclasts of members of MSI along with them, and all of them had bravely volunteered to accompany Felix and Max.

Felix knew that they were just delaying the inevitable. Hopefully Max would stay to help with the reconstruction of Cascadia, and who knew how long that would take? Hell, Max might not leave for years. If Felix played his cards right and made a compelling enough argument then he might even be able to ensure it.

That was assuming that Max didn’t see what Felix was doing straight away, and that something more interesting or more important didn’t come along and steal Max away. They were both pretty likely in Felix’s opinion. After all, Max was pretty switched on. Felix probably wouldn’t have admitted it when they first met, but even back then he had been able to tell that the older man was ridiculously smart.

There was also the fact that Max would undoubtedly have all sorts of people coming to him, asking him to help out with all sorts of problems that would all be way more important and way more interesting than anything Felix could come up with. Just because Max hadn’t had any better options when Felix had proposed his Cascadia plan, didn’t mean they weren’t there. He had a hard time imagining Max being as content with mere reconstruction or defence work as Felix had been over the last couple of years. There was hardly anything intellectual about it after all.

If Felix was being completely honest with himself then he had to admit that Max would kind of be wasted with the Iconoclasts.

No. It wouldn’t do. Felix was just going to have to step up and actually tell Max how he felt, and admit that he didn’t want Max to leave.

It was a terrifying thought; one that scared him more than he wanted to admit. He’d stared down mantiqueens and not felt this uneasy.

What the hell was he even going to say? ‘Max; I know that you probably have very important things to do and people that you need to help, but would you mind if I tagged along? Not because I’m unhappy here; just because I’d miss you if you were gone, because well… You wouldn’t believe it Max, but I’ve realised that I…’

Felix found himself glancing over at the other man. Max must have felt Felix’s eyes on him, because he turned towards him, sending Felix a smile that had his heart feeling like it had skipped a couple of beats.

He was in love with Max. It was stupid and terrifying and he kind of wished that he wasn’t because this was _awful_ , but if he couldn’t admit it to himself then how the hell was he ever going to admit it to Max? He, Felix Millstone, was in love with a stupid, brilliant, irritating, wonderful vicar, or maybe it was ex-vicar now. Whatever. The point was, Felix was in love with him, and he needed to find some way for the two of them to stay together because he didn’t want to spend another two years missing him.

* * *

Cascadia was just dangerous as they had anticipated. Luckily there were no marauders to be seen, but at least two mantiqueens and their broods had taken up residence in the eastern half of the settlement.

The combined team of MSI employees, Iconoclasts, Felix and Max walked into the ruins of Cascadia in a flurry of gunfire and explosions. Before long the majority of the creatures were cleared out and a couple of the soldiers from the MSI camp were celebrating their first mantiqueen kill. Some of the soldiers had begun to poke around the abandoned buildings and corners of the settlement in case there were other dangerous creatures hiding away somewhere.

It was nothing that Felix and Max hadn’t faced before, although Felix at least thought it was nice to have so many people fighting at their side for once, but still he found himself checking on Max once the fight was over, knowing that he wouldn’t be content until he knew that Max hadn’t sustained any serious injuries.

Max seemed more amused by Felix’s fussing over him than anything else, although Felix felt a warm glow spreading throughout his body when he realised that Max was checking him over as well, even if his checking of Felix was substantially more subtle than Felix’s own checking had been.

For just a moment Felix considered telling Max that he loved him, but when he opened his mouth to speak he chickened out, and all that emerged was a soft but teasing, “I’m okay Max.”

* * *

The two of them made their way down into the depths of the old Cascadia lab, assuring those left on the surface that they would be able to handle anything that they found, and that if they couldn’t then they would be sure to let those left above know, or, at the very least, make a hasty retreat.

A couple of the others volunteered to go down with them, but Max and Felix declined the offer. Max’s job was to get the settlement’s automated defences back up and running, and Felix’s job was to protect Max and watch his back while he was working.

Felix didn’t want to admit it, but he didn’t really want to share that responsibility with anyone else; partially because he didn’t trust anyone else with Max’s life as much as he trusted himself, and partially because the two of them hadn’t had any time to themselves since they had left Amber Heights.

It wasn’t as though he thought they were going to sneak off into a private little corner and fuck each other senseless, although that _was_ a very tempting idea, but the others treated Max, and, to a lesser extent, himself, a little strangely; less like they were human beings and more as though they were heroes from some Byzantium aetherwave serial, larger than life and different from the rest of them. It seemed strange to Felix. After all, they had never treated him like that before Max showed up, or at least the Iconoclasts never had. Perhaps they were just used to him at this stage, but seeing him by Max’s side made them remember that he too had been a crewmember of the Unreliable.

It was bizarre, and Felix hated it.

Plus he missed just being able to have a normal conversation with Max. Once this was all over the two of them would have to find a nice little bar somewhere, or an out of the way hotel room, or hell, even a library if that’s where Max wanted to go; just somewhere they could talk and just be themselves for a bit.

And then maybe, while they were alone together, Felix could finally tell Max how he felt, or at least admit that he didn’t want to be separated from Max again.

He let Max lead the way, following closely behind him as they navigated the old ruins. He vaguely remembered this place from when they had ventured into it behind their Captain, but not nearly as clearly as Max appeared to. He lead the way through the various hallways and past traps; some of which Felix would have missed completely. Eventually they found their way down to a deeper part of the facility than Felix had ever seen before.

Max glanced around for a moment, before nodding in the direction of a room marked ‘Security.’

“Come on,” Max said. “This should be it.”

“You know, I’m probably jinxing us by saying this,” Felix commented, “but I’m amazed that nothing’s attacked us down here so far.”

“Good job. You probably _did_ just jinx us,” Max said, although considering that he said it with a smile Felix didn’t think that he was really that upset.

“The others should have made their way over the bridge and should be clearing out the western side right now,” Felix said. “I hope there’s nothing too bad for them up there.”

“Yes,” Max agreed. “Hopefully we haven’t taken all of the luck.”

Felix wished that they weren’t so deep underground. If they were a little closer to the surface then he might have been able to hear speaking, or gunfire, or hell, any sign at all as to how the fight on the topside of Cascadia was going. As it was he and Max might as well have been the only two people on this mission.

“All right,” Max said. “We’re here. It shouldn’t take me too long to get Cascadia’s turrets up and running again, but I’ll need to concentrate.”

“That’s why I’m here, right?” Felix said, readying his assault rifle and silently promising that he was going to do everything within his power to keep Max safe.

Max smiled softly at Felix before stepping up to the console and getting to work. Felix watched him for a couple of seconds, not understanding half of what he was doing. He was competent with computers, but Max was a law-forsaken genius. Felix had even seen him give their old Captain a tip or two, and that was saying something.

For a few minutes at least they were left alone as Max continued to work.

“Several of the external turrets are going to need repair,” Max commented, “but I’m sure that the Iconoclasts will be able to fill the holes in Cascadia’s defence in the meantime.”

Felix made sure that he kept his guard up. So far they had been left alone by the beasts infesting Cascadia, but he couldn’t know for sure how long that would last. The last time their crew had visited Cascadia it had seemed as though there were raptidons and mantisaurs around every corner.

“And then we just confirm the targeting parameters,” Max said. “Unfortunately I’m not going to be able to program this system to distinguish between different humans without considerably more work, or potentially installing ID chips in everyone who intends to visit Cascadia, so we’re not going to be able to keep marauders out using this, but as soon as I activate these defences they should target any non-human larger than a sprat within a twenty foot radius of Cascadia’s wall.”

That sounded like good news, but Felix wasn’t quite ready to celebrate just yet.

“And…” Max commented. “The defences are… on!”

Felix heard Max press one last button, and then the most ungodly, high-pitched wail that Felix had ever heard went blasting through the entire facility.

Felix clamped his hands over his ears while Max cursed and continued to type frantically at the console in front of him.

“What _is_ that!?” Felix yelled, straining to be heard over the high-pitched sound, which was still ringing throughout the compound.

“The signal!” Max yelled out. “The network is broadcasting my instructions and the reboot signal to the turrets, but something’s damaged! We can only hope…”

The noise cut off as quickly as it started, and Max cleared his throat before starting again at a more normal volume.

“We can only hope that the signal still managed to reach the defences.”

There was a sudden loud howl that sounded far too close for Felix’s liking. He brought his assault rifle back up as a second howl answered the first.

“Raptidons,” Max observed.

“I don’t think they liked that sound,” Felix said.

“I don’t blame them,” Max said. “Can you hold them off for a few minutes? I need to check the system and make sure that the turrets are actually up and running, otherwise we came down here for nothing.”

“And what if you can’t get them working?” Felix asked. The raptidons sounded like they were getting closer.

“Then we work out a new plan,” Max said.

The first of the raptidons charged into the security room with a loud roar. It was reasonably large; easily taller than either Felix or Max, and took one look at Felix before charging towards him. Felix unloaded a hail of gunfire, which saw the beast falling to the ground.

The second put the first to shame. It was taller and wider than the door, but that didn’t stop it, or even slow it down. It crashed into the room, crushing its fallen brethren underfoot beneath it and turning the parts of the wall that stood between it and its prey into little more than rubble.

Felix cursed and unloaded another round. A couple of smaller raptidons entered the room behind the largest of them, and they seemed just as angry and ready to fight as the largest one did.

Felix had unloaded several full rounds of ammunition into the largest of the raptidons, but it showed no signs of slowing down. If he didn’t stop it then it might even get to… but no! He couldn’t let that happen.

He charged towards the largest of the creatures and unleashed his trademarked tossball kick at the creature, which at least stunned it, before turning his attention to the smaller creatures, hoping that he could at least get them out of the way before having to deal with the largest raptidon once more.

“What is with these things?” Felix shouted back over his shoulder. “Why do they want us dead so bad?”

“I suspect its not us but the console,” Max said. “They must be able to tell that the signal and the noise came from here.”

He seemed to be finished with the console, because in that moment he turned his back to it and brought out the shotgun that had been resting deceptively harmlessly on his back since they had first entered Cascadia.

“I’m afraid you’re standing between us and the safety of this community,” Max said, before firing a volley of shots towards the largest of the raptidons.

“I missed your one-liners!” Felix called back as he reloaded. “But I’ve got to admit; that one could probably use some work.”

“My one-liners!?” Max said before firing another couple of shots. “That’s what you missed?”

Another couple of raptidons charged through the opening that the largest one had made and Felix turned around to face them and launch another round of assault rifle fire directly at their faces.

“Hey!” he called back at Max as he tried to reload as quickly as he possible could. “I didn’t say that was _all_ that I missed!”

He’d missed _everything_ about this. He’d missed fighting by Max’s side. He’d missed their banter. He’d missed the excitement of fighting for a real cause and the danger that came with it, and he knew that he was going to miss all of it again if he let Max leave without him.

Felix made up his mind right in that moment, that no matter what happened, once the fight was over and Cascadia was safe once more, he was going to tell Max how he felt, and, if necessary, beg to be allowed to stay by Max’s side, whether that meant that they stayed on Monarch together or whether it meant leaving Monarch at Max’s side.

He didn’t even care anymore. His own dignity could be vented out the nearest airlock for all that he cared. He loved this, and he loved Max, and he was screwed if he was going to let his fear continue to get the better of him.

“Max,” Felix called out as the two of them continued to fight off the raptidons together. “I…”

He didn’t get any further than that however before Max let out a pained sounding cry.

“Max!?” Felix said, whirling around and almost getting mauled by a raptidon in the process.

He fired off another couple of shots and then turned back to discover that one of the smaller raptidons had injured Max. Its acidic spit had landed right on Max’s shoulder and had already burned through his clothing and down to the skin beneath.

“MAX!” Felix screamed, running over to the older man and shooting every raptidon that stood between them.

Oh law no. There was a lot of blood. There was a lot of blood and it was Max’s blood and Max was hurt and Felix hadn’t been able to protect him and Max could barely raise his shotgun now.

There were only a couple of raptidons left though. He just needed to take care of them and get Max to safety and then everything would be all right. He placed himself between Max and the remaining raptidons before firing off another couple of rounds.

“Come on you lizard-brains!” Felix cried out as the last one fell. “Is that all you’ve got!?”

He knew that he was running on adrenaline now; adrenaline and fear.

He turned his attention back to Max, who was grimacing and clutching at his injured shoulder. There were dead raptidons all around them now, and the walls of the security room looked as though they were in serious danger of crumbling to pieces.

“Come on,” Felix said, wrapping an arm around Max’s waist and throwing his good arm over Felix’s shoulder. “We have to get you somewhere safe.”

“I can still walk Felix,” Max protested, but considering how exhausted and in pain he sounded, Felix had absolutely no intention of letting the older man go any time soon. Instead he just tightened his grip on Max as he helped the older man over the corpses of the fallen raptidons.

“It’s all right Max,” Felix said, knowing, even as he did, that he was saying it to comfort himself as much, or perhaps even more than he said it to comfort Max. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

He glanced around for a few moments, trying to get his bearings. He really had just followed Max down into the facility, and now he was really wishing that he’d paid better attention. He soon spotted a sign indicating that one of the rooms nearby had once served as a cafeteria. There would hopefully be a vending machine in there, with some basic supplies, and it looked as though it would be relatively easy to close the doors and block out any more raptidons or other creatures that might be lurking about.

He helped Max into the cafeteria and quickly shut the door behind them, before helping Max down to the ground with his back against one of the walls.

He pulled the tattered, broken shreds of fabric away from Max’s injured shoulder with hands that were shaking. There was so much blood, and he didn’t know what he was going to do if it turned out that Max was seriously injured.

He forced himself to think. He knew that he needed water to clear the wound, cloth to clean it with and something for the pain. He would be lucky if the Rizzo’s vending machine even contained clean water, but surely he would be able to find what he needed in the rest of the room.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Max, pressing a quick kiss to Max’s forehead before getting to his feet.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Max replied. Felix didn’t know whether he was impressed or pissed off that Max was able to joke and be so flippant when there was so much blood staining his clothes.

Felix soon returned to Max with a cup full of water from the tap and an old, although relatively clean wash cloth. His hands were still shaking while he cleaned Max’s wound, at least until he removed most of the blood and realised that the wound wasn’t nearly as deep or as bad as he had originally feared.

He breathed in and out, trying to quell the panic and the fear that had arisen in him.

“It’s all right,” he told Max as he continued to dab at the wound and clear away. “There’s a lot of blood but it’s not nearly as bad as it looks.”

Max let out a small, pained sound that was probably intended to be a laugh.

“I could have told you that,” Max said.

“Bet it stings though, huh?” Felix asked, remembering his own raptidon spit related injury, and trying very hard not to think about what came after.

“I won’t disagree with that assessment either,” Max said through gritted teeth.

Felix cleaned up the wound as best as he could, before pressing the damp and now blood-covered cloth that he had been using gently on top of the wound.

“Do you think you can hold that there for me?” Felix asked. “I still need to get you bandages and medicine and stuff, or as close to those as I can find in this place.”

* * *

“I’m sure I can manage for a few minutes,” Max said, forcing himself to smile at Felix.

He was very much looking forward to those painkillers. The raptidon’s spit had burned away a section of his skin, but it didn’t seem too deep, and the bleeding already seemed to be slowing down. The pain was absolutely the worst part of it, and he found himself wondering how Felix had been in any state at all to have sex with Max while he had been the one sporting such an injury. Although, come to think of it, Felix’s wound had been quite a lot smaller than Max’s own.

Still, Max’s wound probably wasn’t quite bad enough to warrant the level of worry and fear that it had brought out in Felix. It was strange, and probably at least a little selfish and terrible of him, but watching Felix worry and fuss over him had made Max happy in its own way. Knowing that Felix was that worried about him; that the younger man cared about him that much…?

Max held the cloth to his shoulder as he watched Felix search the rest of the cafeteria. When the cupboards proved to be mostly void of anything, with the exception of a couple more old cloths, Felix made his way over to the vending machines in the corner. One of them was an old Rizzo’s machine, and Max was just able to hear it spitting out a sad, mostly garbled jingle as Felix accessed it.

Max found himself watching Felix closely as the younger man looked over the machine’s wares. It was one of the only ways he could think of to distract himself from the pain of his wound, not that he particularly minded watching Felix; quite the opposite in fact.

It was nice to just be able to unashamedly watch him for a change, without the chance of anyone commenting on his staring, or of Felix getting all flustered, which Max was absolutely sure that Felix would had he caught Max openly staring at him in any situation outside of the bedroom.

Felix had always had a certain sort of messy, untamed charm, but in that moment he found himself appreciating the simple, familiar things, like the set of Felix’s shoulders, and the way that one hand came to rest on his hip as he inspected the vending machine’s contents.

Felix went still all of a sudden, and Max heard him let out a soft, contemplative ‘huh’, before moving onto the next machine. He wondered what had caught Felix’s eye; whether it was something that was potentially helpful or just something interesting. He wished that he knew for sure where they stood with one another, so that he might feel free to ask these things without feeling like he was prying.

Surely though, Felix’s worry meant that he cared deeply for Max, right? Surely such fear for Max’s safety meant that he cared for Max as more than just a friend, and more than just someone that he occasionally had sex with, right?

The second vending machine was either switched off, or not working, but with a couple of persuasive hits from Felix it flickered into life, letting out a recorded jingle that was even more garbled and broken that the Rizzo’s machine.

If they had been lucky then it would have turned out to be an Auntie Cleo’s vending machine. They were not that lucky however. It was Spacer’s Choice. They would have Adreno and a few basic medications though, so Max would definitely take it over nothing.

Soon enough Felix returned with some basic painkillers and antibiotics in hand, as well as the extra couple of cloths he had found in the cupboards and some scissors that looked as though they hadn’t been designed to cut anything thicker than a single piece of craft paper.

Between Felix’s determination and a little bit of help from Max, they eventually had Max’s arm bandaged up. Max could only imagine that Ellie would despair at the quality of their makeshift bandage and sling. Felix had sacrificed his jacket along with the two wash cloths he had found, which was touching, and the bandage and sling looked, despite all odds, as though they were going to hold up and do the job well enough, at least until they could make it back to the surface and find a qualified physician.

Add to that the fact that the painkillers were starting to kick in, and Max really wasn’t in a mood to complain about anything, except perhaps the fact that Felix wasn’t kissing him right at that exact moment.

When Felix was done bandaging Max up and making sure that all of the correct medications had been taken, he cupped Max’s face between his hands and leaned in close, which really wasn’t helping Max with his whole ‘Felix not kissing him’ problem. Felix looked deep into his eyes for a moment, and Max wanted so badly to run his hands and lips over Felix’s forehead and get rid of all the worry that he saw.

Felix smiled softly, before he took the initiative and kissed Max on the forehead instead.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, before returning to the Rizzo’s machine that he had paused at earlier.

Max watched him make a purchase, although he had absolutely no idea what Felix might have bought. At first he thought it might just be food or drink of some sort (it _had_ been a while since either of them had been able to eat or drink anything), but whatever it was that emerged from the vending machine, it was small enough for Felix to tuck it into one pocket, where Max was unable to see it.

Whatever it was, Felix didn’t think it worth mentioning when he returned to Max, so Max didn’t question it. If it was important then he was sure that Felix would tell Max whenever he was ready.

* * *

They rested up in the cafeteria for a few hours. Part of Felix wanted to check up on the team above ground really badly, but the other part of him knew that Max needed to rest for a bit before they moved on.

Felix curled up next to Max and let the older man fall asleep with his head on Felix’s shoulder. He watched Max as he slept, resisting the very strong urge to reach over and run his hand through Max’s hair, or at least he did until Max started to stir and Felix judged that they should probably be on their way.

When they emerged aboveground in the western side of Cascadia, they discovered an organised mess. It turned out that the western side of Cascadia had been overrun far worse than the eastern side, and that the signal to turn on the automated defences had been at just the right frequency to send most of the creatures into a total frenzy. The automated defences had kicked in at just the right time, and what the machines hadn’t been able to deal with, the MSI and Iconoclast team had made short work of. Human casualties had luckily been kept to a minimum, although there were a few volunteers from both Stellar Bay and Amber Heights that were sporting impressive new scars, one woman was likely to lose a leg, and one of the younger Iconoclasts was being transported back to Amber Heights for urgent medical attention.

“They’re carrying word of our success back to Amber Heights as well,” one of the Iconoclast officers informed the two of them. “Now that the landing pad is clear we’ll be able to get supplies and reinforcements brought in.”

“I can’t believe we actually did it,” one of the MSI volunteers piped up. “People will be able to live in Cascadia again.”

Felix knew that there was still a lot of work to be done to make Cascadia a proper settlement again, but he couldn’t deny the MSI and Iconoclasts their excitement. This was definitely a victory, although he didn’t exactly feel like celebrating; not with Max still injured and not with the weight of what he was carrying around in his pocket weighing him down.

He knew that he was probably being foolish, but he didn’t have much time to reflect on that. Things were moving quickly now that the beasts had been ejected from Cascadia. He and Max were told that they should just pick whichever building they wanted to stay in as their own, but they hadn’t even been able to start looking before a ship touched down on Cascadia’s landing pad.

The ship looked vaguely familiar, although Felix couldn’t quite place it; at least not until the ship’s airlock opened up and its crew strolled out.

“Nyoka!?” he called out. No wonder he had recognised the ship. Nyoka had shown it to him at Parvati’s wedding, along with introducing him to her new crew.

No-one had told him that Nyoka and CHARON were the ones that would be bringing them their supplies. For a moment he was tempted to run up to Nyoka and throw himself at her in a big, welcoming hug, but he still had Max to take care of, and so the two of them walked up to Nyoka and her crew at a much more sensible pace than Felix might have chosen had he been by himself.

“Holy shit!” Nyoka called out, before wrapping Felix up in a big hug. “I did not expect to see the two of you all the way out here!”

She smelled less like alcohol than Felix had been expecting, and she looked genuinely happy with her new crew. Felix was glad that she was doing well.

“Likewise, Miss Ramnarim-Wentworth,” Max said, as he and Nyoka shook hands, which Felix thought was way too formal considering everything they had been through.

“Yeah,” Felix said. “No-one told us you would be the one bringing supplies to Cascadia.”

“Yeah well,” Nyoka said with a shrug. “We got offered the contract, and there was no way that I was going to turn down a chance to help Monarch get back on her feet.”

“You look well,” Max said, echoing Felix’s earlier thoughts.

“Aw thanks,” Nyoka said, looking a little embarrassed. “I have an awesome crew to thank for that. And look at the two of you! You’re still together huh?”

Still together? Nyoka thought that they were a couple? More than that. She thought that they had been a couple for a while? Had she known? Had she been the one to spot them curled up together in Max’s bed and to close the door?

“No, I mean…” Felix began, intending to explain that they weren’t really a couple, or at least they weren’t _officially_ a couple, or at least that they hadn’t been a couple when they had all been together on the Unreliable. “We’re not…”

“It isn’t like that,” Max said, and of course he managed to explain himself a thousand times more calmly and eloquently than Felix could ever hope to.

“Our paths just happened to cross on Monarch is all,” Max continued, while Nyoka looked between the two of them with far more amusement on her face than Felix was happy seeing there.

Felix knew that it was true. Spending a few nights with Max did not make the two of them a couple, however much Felix might have wished otherwise. Still, it had hurt to hear Max admit it out loud so casually. He had wanted so badly to believe that they could be more; that he might be able to call Max his own, but whether Max had done it knowingly or not, he might as well have just reached into Felix’s chest and torn his heart out. It probably would have hurt less if Max had done precisely that.

“All right,” Nyoka said, although she didn’t look as though she completely believed what Max was saying. “I get it. Hey, CHARON and I are gonna be popping in and out of Cascadia a fair bit over the next few days, but after that, if either of you want a ride off this hellhole then you’re welcome to come with us. We’ll probably pop into the Groundbreaker or something next, but if there’s a specific place you want me to drop you off then we can do that too.”

“Thank you,” Max said.

Felix wanted to thank Nyoka for the offer, but he didn’t trust himself to open up his mouth at that moment. He was just so fucking pissed off by what Max had said, even though it was technically true, and the thought that Max might end up leaving with Nyoka definitely wasn’t helping.

He folded his arms tightly in front of his chest and forced himself to at least try to summon a smile for Nyoka. Whatever he came up with wasn’t convincing at all if the concerned half-smile that she gave him in return was any indication.

“I’ll see you two around,” she said, placing a hand on Felix’s shoulder before heading off to join her crew.

“Yeah,” Felix managed to mutter. “See ya.”

* * *

Max stared up at Nyoka’s ship, hating the sight of it despite himself. There was nothing actually wrong with it, or with Nyoka or her crew, but he hated everything that it represented in that moment. She had offered him a free ride off Monarch. The sensible decision would be to take Nyoka up on her offer and leave as soon as the majority of the reconstruction work in Cascadia was finished. Who knew how long it would be before another opportunity like this presented itself?

It all came down to one simple fact however; Max didn’t want to leave, not if it meant leaving Felix behind. The thought of being separated from Felix again brought a physical ache to his chest that he knew he couldn’t blame on the raptidon acid. He wondered how long he could conceivably stay if he used the reconstruction of Cascadia as an excuse, and whether anyone would actually believe his claims that Cascadia’s wellbeing was truly the reason he had chosen not to leave.

His real reason for not leaving was standing right beside him with his arms crossed angrily in front of his chest. Max wondered if Felix was upset at the prospect that Max might be leaving. No, that would be far too wonderful and too perfect. More likely he was just upset that Nyoka had assumed that the two of them were a couple.

There was nothing for it. He couldn’t keep making excuses like this. He needed to tell Felix the truth, and if things did go horribly wrong then at least he would have an easy escape route in the form of Nyoka and her ship.

“Why did you tell her that?” Felix said, sounding even more upset than his demeanour would have indicated.

“What?” Max asked, more than a little confused, and yet also feeling the tiniest spark of hope begin to blossom inside of his chest. “Felix, we’re not a couple, or at least, not to the extent that Nyoka believes. Unless, I mean… If you…”

Max did not get flustered, ever, and he certainly didn’t blush, not even when his lover (and surely he could use that term. Even if they weren’t really a proper couple then surely ‘lover’ was all right) was glaring at him with his arms folded in front of his chest.

Max wished that Felix would say something rather than just glaring at him, because Max really did feel as though he was floundering.

“Do you _want_ us to be a couple?” Max asked.

This wasn’t how he had imagined this going at all. When he imagined confessing to Felix and asking Felix to be his, he had imagined that he would have a lot more time to prepare, and that when he did manage to say the words, that it would be in a slightly more romantic location, or at least while they were in private; not standing on a landing pad in Cascadia, surrounded by the smell of gunfire and dead raptidons, and with Felix glaring at him with his arms folded in front of his chest.

“Maybe I do,” Felix said, his glare finally settling into something a little less fierce, but no less unhappy. “And maybe… maybe I don’t want you to leave.”

Max found himself gasping and his heart clenching tightly in his chest.

“You know what?” Felix said. “Screw this.”

* * *

Felix rummaged around in his pocket for the item that he had purchased from the Rizzo’s vending machine. He had bought it on a whim, not entirely sure if he would ever have the courage to actually put it to use, but figuring that it was better to have the option. It had been cheap, probably only made out of tin, or, if Felix was really lucky, stainless steel or something like that, but still Felix had tucked it away safely inside one of his pants pockets that actually zipped up. After all, it was the thought that counted with this sort of thing right; what the ring represented rather than the actual value of it?

He hadn’t thought that he would be using it so soon, but he wasn’t about to let Max leave without telling the older man how he felt; not again.

Felix gathered his courage and dropped to one knee, the ring held out towards Max in one hand. Felix knew that it was a bit old-fashioned. He also knew from all of the aetherwave serials that he had watched that Max was supposed to act all surprised and cover his mouth with one hand. People always did that when someone proposed to them, didn’t they? Perhaps it was just because Max’s arm was still injured that one of his hands didn’t come up to cover his mouth in shock, but Felix didn’t think so.

“Felix,” Max said. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”

“Will you marry me?” he asked Max. “And I don’t mean just a marriage contract. I mean a proper wedding, with rings and vows and everything, like what Parvati and Junlei had last year.”

For a while Max said nothing at all. He just stood there, staring down at Felix as though he had absolutely no idea what to say. Felix just hoped that he wasn’t trying to think of the kindest way to let Felix down.

“Come on Max,” Felix said, when the silence was beginning to stretch on for too long. “Say something?”

It was still a few more seconds before Max managed to speak; a few seconds which felt like the longest, tensest seconds in the history of the universe.

“Are you absolutely certain?” Max finally managed to say. “I mean, this is coming completely out of nowhere! We haven’t even… And you…”

“Of course I’m certain!” Felix snapped. “You think I’d be down here on one knee if I didn’t like this idea? You know, you could just tell me that you’re not interested instead of trying to talk me out of it!”

He lowered the ring, debating internally whether he should keep it or just hurl the stupid thing as far away as he possibly could.

“I didn’t say ‘no’,” Max said, before reaching out and snatching the ring from Felix’s hand with his own. “I was just asking; are you sure that you’ve thought this through? This is a big step, and well… we’re both stubborn, so I don’t expect it will be a decision that will be easy for either of us to take back.”

“You know I don’t think things through,” Felix replied.

“Right. Act first; think later. Correct?”

“Right.” Felix nodded.

“You know, I do believe you’ve outdone yourself in that regard. A decision of this magnitude really ought to be thought through properly beforehand.”

“I mean, if you want to think it over for a while you can. Just don’t go flying off with Nyoka before you give me an answer, all right?”

“I wasn’t planning on leaving with Nyoka,” Max replied. “At least, not if you weren’t.”

That stunned Felix more than Max’s snatching of the ring. He got back to his feet, suddenly feeling very nervous and small in front of Max.

“I don’t know,” Felix said, smiling at Max. “It might be nice to get off this rock for a bit. Once we know Cascadia’s going to be all right at least.”

Max returned Felix’s smile, before turning his attention to the ring, still sitting in his hand.

“You know, I really do feel that there are certain things that should have happened before we got to this stage,” Max commented.

“Like what?”

“Well, I haven’t even told you that I love you.”

Max was trying to kill him. That could be the only explanation. It was working too. Felix’s heart had already forgotten how to work properly and was beating all over the place. He felt as though he had simultaneously just won the lottery and had experienced explosive cell death at the same time.

“But I suppose that can be remedied easily enough. Felix Millstone,” Max said, so sincerely that Felix suddenly felt as though he was the one being proposed to. He knew that he was blushing, and hoped that no-one else was standing close enough to them on the landing pad that they would be able to see it. “I love you. In fact I’m rather hopelessly, madly in love with you, and its past time that I told you as much.”

“I love you too,” Felix managed to splutter out.

“All right then. I suppose that’s it. Yes.”

“What?”

“To my own surprise, and despite the absolute ridiculousness of it all, I am accepting your marriage proposal. Now, considering my arm is still in a sling, I might need your help to actually get the law-forsaken ring on.”

Felix was intimately aware of the fact that Max’s hands were quite large, and so he wasn’t entirely surprised when it turned out that the only one of Max’s fingers that the ring would fit on was his pinkie.

“I’ll… I’m…” Felix spluttered as he helped Max slip the ring on. “When we get to the Groundbreaker I’ll buy you a better one.”

“If you insist,” Max said. “But I should warn you that I have every intention of holding on to this one.”

Felix nodded and smiled. Now that the nervousness and fear and surprise had all passed the joy was starting to settle in. He was starting to feel happy; happier than he had ever felt before.

“Now, should we go find Miss Ramnarim-Wentworth and tell her that we intend to accept her offer?” Max asked.

Felix shyly reached out and grabbed Max’s hand in his own.

“Nah,” Felix said. “We’d probably have to tell her that she was right about us and you know she’s going to be so smug about it.”

That brought an amused smile to Max’s face.

“I suppose you are right,” he said. “Perhaps the two of us should choose a place to rest up in the meantime.”

“We should probably get your shoulder looked at by a proper doctor first,” Felix said.

Max shrugged and then immediately grimaced.

“Really, it’s not that bad,” he commented, and Felix knew that he was lying. “Your makeshift first aid is holding up remarkably well.”

Felix crossed his arms in front of his chest again and glared at his new fiancée. Oh law, Max was his fiancée now, wasn’t he? It felt so good to even think that. Regardless of how giddy Felix felt, Max saw the glare in Felix’s face for the doubt and concern that it was and let out a sigh.

“Perhaps I should seek out medical help,” Max said. “You could pick out temporary accommodation for us in the meantime.”

“No,” Felix immediately said. “I’ll go with you, then we can pick out something together.”

That earned him another smile from Max.

“I suppose I had better get used to making decisions as a duo,” he said.

“Yeah, you better,” Felix said as the two of them walked off together in search of the nearest medic. “Because I don’t intend to let you leave on your own again any time soon.”

“No more goodbyes?” Max asked, his hand reaching out and finding Felix’s own as they walked.

“No more goodbyes,” Felix agreed.


End file.
